When You Lose Your Voice (literally or figuratively), Harness the Power of SILENCE + You Can Use Your Voice In a BETTER Way!

From my series: How to “Flip The Script” with the VICTUS Method.

I was feeling a bit under the weather this week.

I was still able to follow my routine, but the more I talked when working or socializing, the more I discovered I was losing my voice.

Literally.

But, that wasn’t what worried me.

The worst part was, it felt like I was losing my voice emotionally.

I know precisely why:

Because losing my voice was impacting my productivity.

It wasn’t the end of the world, though.

I was able to shift my schedule and reorganize some of my plans.

All should’ve been well.

But, pretty soon, I felt this sense of sinking, of falling behind.

Of stress.

And, unfortunately, I know that when I get stressed, the likelihood of a horrendous migraine starts to rear its ugly head.

So I had to perform a Mindset Reset. To lessen the stress, not only in my mind, but also in my body.

Because I’ve learned this the hard way: If I don’t get a handle on my stress levels, my body will keep the score. The throbbing will start to set in my head, and there’ll be hours of pain, and worse — rumination — to endure.

Here’s the Mindset Reset I used to avoid that:

FLIP THE SCRIPT:

1. I remembered, Now is not the time to strive. Instead of using FORCE: Relax. Let go. Accept.

2. I asked, “How can this actually serve me?”

My mind quickly railed against the question: “How could your voicelessness help you?! You barely have enough time as it is to do your work and creative activities, not to mention what’s most important of all: the need to tend to your family! And, that long list of To Do’s!”

But…

3. I pushed back, telling myself “Nothing good will come from focusing on what you’ve lost, on what you lack.”

4. I told myself, “You have to focus on what you HAVE.”

And, when I finally got my mind to cooperate, I found 7 BLESSINGS, significantly more than a stressed-out-state would ever let me know:

BLESSING #1:

To save my voice, I whispered. And my two young kids whispered so gently, right back at me.

Even though I had never asked them to. They just did it naturally.

My daughter pat me gently on the back, and mirrored what I’ve often done for her.

In the gentlest voice, she comforted me. She helped me to relax into and accept my current reality — not in a complex, intellectual way, but in the simplest, most important way: by helping me feel better. So, so quietly, she whispered, “Aww, it’s okay, Mommy. We’ll play together quietly while you rest.”

And my younger son did the same. He gave me hugs and read a book — a quiet activity — that’s the opposite of his usual rambunctious, bouncing-off-the-walls self. And, that softened me, too, to see how even a child with his age and temperament wants to show his love and concern.

I realized, “These are gifts that the silence has given me.”

It gave me the opportunity to witness how kind, caring, and loving my children are.

BLESSING #2:

So we decided to make reading a quiet activity to do together as a family.

While snuggling in bed.

I had embraced the silence by then, and it brought me an unexpected serenity.

And as my children nestled in close to me, I realized — with some sadness — how precious these moments are.

Yes, all our days are numbered, given our frail human condition, but then it dawned on me:

So, too, are the years, weeks, and (dare I think it) days when my children will allow me to cuddle them like this.

They’re at that tender age when they still depend on me.

But, the day will come when (if we’ve raised them right) they will want to spread their wings and soar all on their own.

One day, my kiddos won’t want to hold my hand, anymore.

Or, they might shy away when I go in for that kiss.

But — for now — in this blissful silence, they are here, together with me, cuddling close, where my lips can peck them on the cheek and tell them everything they need to know, silently.

And they’re meeting me where I am: kissing me back with so much tenderness.

It was lovely.

And it brought me to my next epiphany:

BLESSING #3:

Love is always the best path forward, to deal with any difficult feeling.

So, I relied on the 2 C’s that always re-center me:

C #1’s INWARD = Compassion for my Self &

C #2’s OUTWARD = reaching out to likeminded Community.

For #1 = I gave myself the best self-care I could, by relaxing into the belief that this Silence could serve me.

For #2 = I allowed myself to rest into the Power of SILENCE, and found a BETTER way to use my Voice:

BLESSING #4:

I reached out to my likeminded Substack Community and shared this Mindset Reset, that’s been working wonders for me:

❤️🙋🏻‍♀️Writing / Creating = How to Love your Self🙋🏻‍♀️❤️

💕👫Sharing Other People’s Writing / Creations = How to Love Others👫💕

💜🔮Either way, your Love expands. The Love you give comes back to you.🔮💜

And, I kid you not, it did:

BLESSING #5:

One of the very first writers who ever supported me on Substack wrote me the most kind and uplifting message, to let me know that he wishes me well, he appreciates our conversations as we comment on each others’ work, and he encouraged me to keep going.

And I received such a thoughtful comment from a new Subscriber as well. It was in response to a post I had made about a difficult experience in my life, after spending many years practicing law as an Attorney, and how it gave me the courage to pursue the Creative side of me. He let me know I wasn’t alone in feeling that way, and also encouraged me to keep going.

It really lifted my spirits.

I may not know them in real life, but their reaching out meant a great deal.

Because I felt supported. And I haven’t always had that.

As I told them,

“I feel like I am finally giving myself the permission and space I have needed for far too long to become who I truly wish to be.

And it has been such a long and isolating road.

Because no one around me ‘gets it.’

I hardly know anyone who loves the things I do — creative writing, making art and music, and creating videos.

And, unfortunately, I’ve received so many messages (both explicit and implicit) to not pursue these things.

It’s taken more courage than I ever anticipated to do these things anyway.”

Their kind comments meant more to me than they might realize.

So I did keep going. I didn’t give up.

I asked myself, “How can I use my voice, even in silence?”

I started to think outside the box.

BLESSING #6:

I decided I could, in fact, use my voice, if I edited my latest video recording.

I had recorded it last week, when my voice was just fine, but I hadn’t had time to do the post-production.

I realized, “This is the perfect opportunity to try to make the message better — not by using more words, but by using more of my creativity.”

I used silent magic:

• I learned how to layer better imagery (“B roll”) on to the video, to hopefully convey the message in a way that was more entertaining.

• I added animation, to hopefully keep the viewers’ interest.

• And, I created a new Logo, to highlight

What I hope to accomplish with the VICTUS Method:

To help others find more peace and serenity, by accepting and becoming more of who they want to be, as I try to do the same.

In other words, I tried harder to serve others.

And, with each subtle shift, I proved that I could still use my voice.

Ultimately, by not speaking, I found a deeper understanding inside of me.

BLESSING #7:

This was, perhaps, the most surprising revelation of all:

By talking less, and delving inward, the fear of posting another video slowly began to fade.

I posted my 2nd Video here:

And as I sit here, rewatching it in silence, I feel a greater sense of strength, not in my voice, but deep in my core.

Yes, there is power in SILENCE.

Have you experienced it, too?

If not, give it a try.

Ask yourself:

What’s in your world, without words?

May you find the silent magic, some time today.

The Silence in me honors & respects the Silence in each of you,

Marisa

🎤 📺 🎤

If you would like to hear or see me succeed (or flop 😂) as I practice in public, and you’d love to learn about the science of self-improvement, please Subscribe to my new YouTube Channel and signup for my free Substack Newsletter.

Together, we’ll explore all the ways that we can 10x our life — mind, body, & soul.

We’ll learn the scientific, physiological, and psychological reasons why we are the way that we are, and combine that understanding with simple, active practices that will:

• Enliven our emotions & creativity;

• Enhance our efficiency & productivity;

• Foster a greater depth of Self;

• Build the Secure Attachment that we need to develop a Growth Mindset; and,

• Reprogram our minds to pivot from the Sympathetic Nervous System to the Parasympathetic Nervous System when we need it to, more often than not.

I’ve planned so many exciting & fun things to share with you (in addition to music!) and I can’t wait for you to get all the FREE goodies I’ve prepared for you.

We CAN do this, TOGETHER!

Marisa