Pruning Unhelpful Programs:

Combine Positive Self-Talk with Cold Water Therapy

The power of a somatic practice:

Cold Water, Part 3

Two months ago, I decided to step out of my comfort zone:

I started taking cold showers after reading The Iceman’s book on cold exposure therapy, The Wim Hof Method: Activate Your Full Human Potential.

It’s been quite the journey. I learned about the physical and mental benefits of cold exposure therapy and, emboldened by some major strides I’d made in my somatic yoga practice, I decided to go “all in” and see what freezing cold showers could do for me.

The initial introduction was taxing on my body. It helped to follow the breathing regimen that Wim Hof prescribed.

But, as I began to drop the temperature dial, I found that staying in my body wasn’t the fastest way to do it.

It was much easier to adapt when I used my mind. When I chose Better Words to think as the water drenched me in a relentlessly icy cold, that focus helped me to drop the last ten degrees, from 60 to 50 degrees, in one fell swoop. What had previously taken me weeks to accomplish, I was able to do in just one day!

In the process, I learned far more than I’d ever hoped to learn about myself.

It taught me:

• I can do hard things.

• Start your day by doing something hard. By doing what’s hard first, you start the day with a Win, you see yourself as a Winner, and that Winning Mindset will power you up to accomplish much more in a day.

• It’s easier to do anything when your why is crystal clear.

Better Words — like “love,” “strength,” and “resilience” — helped me to withstand the cold, not once, not twice, but repeatedly, again and again.

And Better Words are a reliable method that I can call upon again — when I’m not in the shower. They’re little verbal cues that remind me, if I can withstand that level of cold and discomfort, of course I can do this comparatively comfortable thing.

Indeed, I regularly remind myself now, I can make anything I choose so familiar, I enjoy and welcome it, for the benefits it brings.

But then…

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Shower

Out of the blue — after many weeks of feeling great — that little inner voice reared its ugly head and said, “You really don’t wanna do that! It’s so incredibly cold and uncomfortable!”

Huh? Are you kidding me?

I couldn’t believe such a negative thought had popped into my head, out of nowhere. Not when I was enjoying the results. Not when I’d proven my dedication to doing cold showers, from here on out.

But, day after day, that little inner voice kept telling me not to.

Hearing it bothered me, so I began to take a closer look.

It wasn’t the hyper-critical Inner Critic I struggled with for most of my life.

It was different. Subdued, with less vitriol, but annoying nonetheless.

It was another type of inner monologue, and its awareness was incomplete. It felt detached, unaware of my lived experience, unable to acknowledge that I’d already amassed weeks of positive benefits — physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Cold showers were a massive part of my wellness regimen, now. I’d already decided I wouldn’t stop.

I’d already overcome the initial resistance. I was already telling myself, “Yes, you’re doing it,” each day, so why was this voice bothering me now?

As a long-time meditator, I reminded myself that “I am the observer” of this voice and, “It is not me.”

But it wasn’t the cantankerous Inner Critic, either.

So what was it?

After spending some time just observing it, I realized it was just another thought, a neural program looping in my brain, telling me to not do cold showers, despite all the amazing benefits.

It was trying to stop me. And, apparently, it thought that reminding me of the cold discomfort would be reason enough to stop me in my tracks.

How strange, I thought, with greater curiosity.

I could tell the conscious me wanted to proceed with cold showers — but, I also had to admit, a part of me wanted to listen to it.

In fact, a part of me immediately agreed with it, thinking, Yeah, it IS really uncomfortable. It IS really goddamn cold. In just a few milliseconds, the voice was now making me stop and hesitate.

Luckily, a third reaction — the conscious Self — knocked the doubting voice straight out of my head. I could hear myself thinking quite clearly of all the counterarguments. Loudly reiterating, No, I want to do this. I will do this. Now, watch me do it!

All of this happened in just a few seconds.

And, no — I’m not hearing voices 😂 — it was just my mental chattering.

The point is: I didn’t let my Monkey Mind stop me.

I completed my regular cold shower routine.

And, as always, I basked in the amazing afterglow: the feeling, the knowing, that I was taking better care of myself, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I gained the win. Another rep locked and loaded. Ready to start the day.

Let’s keep going!

But…

That damned voice kept repeating! Not once, but for the next few days.

It was infuriating, but also rather funny, too.

And when I pressed on and stuck to the routine, it got even funnier. The thinking changed, from “You don’t want to do this!” to “Are you sure you wanna do this?”

I had to laugh, it was so interesting.

The inner voice was changing, like a rambunctious Pygmy Marmoset Monkey testing my boundaries.

Telling me “not to” hadn’t worked, so it resorted to posing it as a question, as if that would allow the doubt to slide in indirectly, like I wouldn’t notice the scheming it was up to.

Again, my immediate subconscious reaction was to agree with it. Yes, it’s cold. Yes, it is uncomfortable. Then, I just ignored it again, and I went ahead with my plan. I took the cold shower.

After many days of this, my annoyance faded away.

I looked at it with more inquisitiveness. I became far more curious.

It keeps happening. How interesting! It kept popping up, posing this question: “Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure?” Day after day.

Until it became a game.

Every day, I woke up, wondering with a laugh, “Is it gonna ask me again?”

Until I decided to do…

A Fun Experiment with Pruning

If you’re not familiar with the concept of pruning, it’s the idea that we all have neural networks in our brains that are formed by the thoughts that we think. These neural circuits fire and wire together. They’re the programs that run and loop again and again in our minds.

The more frequently we run these programs by thinking a thought, the more we repeat the program, and the more it becomes wired-in, until it’s so entrenched in our psyche, it runs almost automatically.

Alternatively, we can wire in new or different programs that run counter to the original. When we do that with conscious awareness, we can purposely entrain our brains to wire-in, accept, and strengthen new neural programs that are better and healthier us.

Eventually — with repetition, repetition, repetition — the new neural pathways will become stronger and the brain will prune away the old neural pathways.

Like a Gardener prunes away the stems that are dead, and the weeds that are in the way, to make room for new growth.

But it takes time.

The question was: How much?

I knew it wouldn’t be fast. Even the briefest negative thought would automatically call upon that program to run, and due to the immense speed of our brains, the slightest doubt could pop the question, reinforcing the negative program within a few milliseconds. It wouldn’t take very much.

That’s just how powerful our computer-like brains are. And, like a computer, our unconscious brains do not distinguish between positive and negative.In a brief lapse of momentary negativity, just one negative thought or one negative feeling can make our brain immediately recall any felt or lived experience that’s the same or remotely similar. In seconds, those programs would run, and they’d be wired more firmly in our brain, making them more likely to run in the future.

I decided to try, to see how long it might take, to prune this inner monologue out of me.

Experiment: How long will it take to prune this little nagging doubt?

How long will it take for my mind to realize…

Yes, cold showers are here to stay.

This is what I want do, and

There’s no point in questioning it anymore.

TEST #1: Time

For the first couple of weeks, I literally did nothing on purpose. Nada.

I just did my normal cold shower routine and made no changes, just to see if time could be the deciding factor.

Would my mind just stop it, if I didn’t entertain the question?

If I just ignored it and took a cold shower, as I’d originally planned to do?

Turns out: No.

Time wasn’t enough to make it disappear.

Little Miss Monkey kept asking me the same question day after day, even though I was showing through my actions that I was going to do it anyway.

The following week, I decided to up the ante:

TEST #2: Positive-Self Talk

I practiced Positive Self-Talk, outside of the shower.

In the middle of the day, I made the deliberate choice to select Better Words, to direct my conscious attention to why I was doing what I was doing.

I focused on my wanting to do it, and why I had decided to do it, as a daily part of my mindful, somatic practice, and I deliberately reminded myself of all the positive benefits.

This INTELLECTUAL exercise quelled the intensity of the question, but when the question did not disappear completely, I realized I had to go beyond mere intellectual understanding.

I had to use EMOTION to rewire my brain, to accept it, wholeheartedly. I reminded myself of the emotional benefits it had for my self-confidence and self-esteem.

And I used the same BETTER WORDS that I used in the shower, within my afternoon strategy. The repetition and reinforcement of these Better Words reminded me, like quick cue cards, for all the physical, mental, and emotional shifts I was making.

Lastly, I took a final step further and incorporated it into my devoted practice of finding synergy: to identify what works for me in one area, and translate that to achieve greater success in all areas of my life. I gave myself conscious directives, like, Cold showers allow me to find strength in other areas of my life, in my legal work and my creative work, in my fitness and my mental health.

I started doing this every single day, for just five minutes at a time.

#2 Worked!

My inner monologue morphed.

About a week into doing these Positive Self-Talk sessions, my inner monologue calmed down.

My inner voice was still there, but it was focused on what I needed to do in the moment, like getting my clothes and towel ready, and noting what was happening in a neutral way.

Yes, it acknowledged, you’re getting in the shower.

Yes, it noted, it’s going to be cold.

But all the admonitions and loaded questions disappeared.

No more, “You don’t want to do that!”

No more, “Are you sure you wanna?”

Just, “You’re taking a cold shower now.”

I’d tamed the Monkey.

The harshness disappeared.

And slowly, but surely, it became nothing.

I experienced a peaceful quiet that could only mean one thing…

My Experiment Was a Success + It Took Only 2 Weeks to Prune It Away!

All I had to do was give my mind the Positive Self-Talk that I needed to hear.

That’s it.

That’s all.

Now, it’s quiet.

Even better…

I Have Greater Synergy, because it’s Quieter, Overall.

Taking control of my thinking has made a massive difference.

Practicing Positive Self-Talk has made my brain trust me more.

My amygdala’s not in the same anxious fight-flight-freeze-or-fawn state. Not nearly as much as it was before.

And I have greater self-awareness now: it’s made me realize how often a part of me tries to make me stop before I start many things that are unrelated to this experiment.

So I’m applying the same Positive Self-Talk Practice to other areas, and experiencing promising results there, too.

When I’m deciding to try something new, I’m less hesitant, now. There’s less mental chatter shutting it down. Less questioning. And more willingness to try, to see what happens and evaluate afterwards.

I’ve gained more potential.

I’m excited that I’m feeling more calm.

And I’m hopeful: I know it’ll be hard to prune away more intense feelings that are linked to trauma or limiting beliefs that are emotionally charged. But at least now I’ve got a baseline for what my brain can accomplish. It might take longer, but…

Pruning is doable!

I’ve proven that now, for myself.

How about you?

Have you ever tried to prune a negative program?

Did you do it, with merely the passage of time?

Or did you use a method, like the one I’ve come up with, using Positive Self-Talk?

Did it work?

How long did it take?

And, did you enjoy the same success, in other areas?

If you’ve never tried it, I highly recommend giving Positive Self-Talk a go.

Even without the cold shower, Better Words can do wonders.

It’s Never Too Late to Prune The Weeds in Our Mental Garden

So let’s get our pruning sheers out!

The Mental Gardener in me honors & respects the Mental Gardener in you,

Marisa

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We’ll learn the scientific, physiological, and psychological reasons why we are the way that we are, and combine that understanding with simple, active practices that will:

• Enliven our emotions & creativity;

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Marisa