What if life didn’t have to be so hard?
In my STUDY, SAVOR, & SUPPORT Each Other CHAT☕️🍵, we’re doing a deep-dive into our Book Club selection! This week is Chapter 9 of BEYOND ANXIETY: Curiosity, Creativity, and Finding Your Life’s Purpose by Martha Beck.
In Chapter 9: Breaking Your Role Rules, Minding Your Mission, MB invites us to imagine who you might be if you “abandon anxiety as your basic role motivation and imagine who you might be if you follow your sense of curiosity, creativity, and connection.”
She gives many examples of people who’ve dared to break the mold that society’s tried to force them into, and paints a beautiful picture of the creative & professional freedom that they found on the other side.
It’s so inspiring, because even she had to go through it.
Despite becoming a Professor.
Despite her Harvard pedigree.
Despite all of her impressive accomplishments.
Was it enough — to meet society’s expectations? No!
She was miserable. Trapped in Anxiety Spirals so severe that her body forced her to stop. She became bedridden with fibromyalgia. Her days were filled with non-stop fatigue and pain.
But, as she put it:
[T]he “Harvard academic” role made me an anxious mess. When I decided to leave it and follow my curiosity into joy, I finally felt “on purpose.”
It wasn’t easy, though. She says,
I still cringe at the label “life coach,” which didn’t exist when I was growing up, or even when I was getting my doctorate. “Life coaching” is way outside the role rules of academia; it’s the kind of title that makes traditional scholars want to take you out back and shoot you in the leg.
Ouch.
But, she became a life coach ANYWAY. Because it was RIGHT for her.
And it’s led her down an enviable path, where she works with Creative friends, coaches Creatives like us, and actually enjoys her work, full of writing, artwork, and in-person safari adventures surrounded by the nature and wildlife that she’s loved since she was a child, on a regular basis, at the Londolozi Nature Reserve in South Africa.
Talk about assembling your very own, highly personalized Sanity Quilt Life!
It’s PROOF!
We, too, can live life in rhythm with who we are & who we’re MEANT to become.
We can live in a state of JOY & FLOW if we follow Our “Innate Creative Genius.”
When you follow your “Innate Creative Genius,” you stop dreading the passage of time like you’re watching paint dry, and start pining for more time to enjoy your passions.
A creative life isn’t easy. It’ll take plenty of hard work.
But, it will feel like FUN.
Just Imagine:
What might happen if you reconnect with your passions and indulge in your curiosity?
You, too, could step into the mysterious flow of Creativity and find you’re on the path to finding your life’s Purpose.
But, how?
(1) Beware the Detours
Hidden in the brush, danger lurks.
Beware the times you back away.
Beware the limits you randomly put on yourself.
Notice when anxiety’s pushing your Left Hemisphere into overdrive.
Soothe your Inner Creature.
Not to accomplish some miraculous feat of inestimable Creative Nirvana, but…
(2) Take One TEENY, TINY Step
Sometimes it’s not the grand resolution that works.
Many times, all it takes is the teeny, tiniest step to calm your nerves.
To gain some movement.
Then momentum.
And, when anxiety stops pushing your Left Hemisphere to strive and grind, you can finally…
(3) Allow your CURIOSITY to PULL, rather than push, you into a Creativity Spiral that naturally carries you toward your life’s Purpose.
“Hallelujah!” you’ll get to yell from the rooftops, head up, chest out, and full of pride.
When you enjoy your very own Eureka Moment!
When you’ve found what your Creative Genius would LOVE for you to do with your life!
Then what? Do you just keep walking?
Of course, you’ll want to. You may even run.
But, like all great Quests, obstacles will impede your path.
As you continue on your Creative Journey, just remember:
(4) You have to stay “On Mission.”
Beware the “No,” when our Left-Hemisphere Dominated Society tries to drag you down, screaming lies like, “It can’t be done!”
Take, for example, the biggest of all lies: “You need more money.”
Ask yourself, “Is that ABSOLUTELY True — in all cases, each and every time?”
Sure, we all have to make a living to survive, but therein lies the trap.
When we’re too focused on making money, we shut the door to possibility.
If we wait for more money before we’re willing to leap, we never will. Instead…
(5) We have to give our Right-Hemisphere enough space & freedom to rally our Creative Genius, to come up with creative alternatives to solve our predicament.
We can start simply.
We can develop our interests — without the unnecessary pressure of making money at it.
We can use our CURIOSITY to our advantage, to regulate our emotions and ease our Nervous System out of panic mode. Just…
(6) Be willing to SIMPLY SEE what develops & ENJOY the process.
And remember, when Passion Hits, Magic Happens!
Our typical hum-drum social roles can shatter.
Our identities can be transformed.
Deep Play can become Our Purpose!
I can fully attest to that.
Because I found my way there.
But, my journey was rough. Like MB’s.
Mine was a saga of depression, anxiety, and self-doubt.
My Inner Critics — the wraiths of my discontent — made my mind & body succumb to so much dis-ease that I suffered from relentless rumination & unending migraines.
I reached an impasse, too.
At the time, I thought it was the worst thing that could happen to me.
Because it went straight to my Identity. It threatened how I saw myself. The role I thought I was supposed to play. It was what I still consider to be…
My Own Existential Crisis
Read about it here👇
Break Free: How You Spen Your Time Dictates Who You Are
Or watch my Storytime Video here👇
It hurt. But now, I’m GRATEFUL for it!
It was the only way I could learn: my PAIN could be my Purpose.
And it serves a purpose still, because it’s now MY MISSION to encourage others to do the Creative Work we dream of doing, no matter how much time has passed. No matter what anyone else says.
Like me…
YOUR PAIN Can Be the Fuel that Helps You to BREAK FREE, to Break The Mold Society Assigns to You.
When you hit your lowest point, it can be a forcing function that makes you find a way out.
The pain pressures you to discover what’s really true for YOU.
Not because of some role you’re forced to adhere to.
But how you respond to it.
How you come to question it.
How you begin to rail against it.
In this way, you redefine the role you believe you are MEANT to embody.
You finally see you’re not meant to be caged in the limited role that society dictates.
Are YOU Ready to BREAK FREE, too?
Or, are you too afraid to stop caring about what other people think?
BEWARE: Your Approval-Seeking Behavior is a Red Flag
As MB says, “Approval seeking is an anxiety based behavior favored by a left-hemisphere belief that there is only one way to live.”
So pay particular attention anytime you find yourself afraid to color outside the lines.
Notice when your creative inclinations are rebuffed or ridiculed.
That’s how you know you’ve found the edge of what society deems “right.”
DARE to question it.
On the other side may just be your freedom.
Now, take a Mindful Minute to reflect on your life:
⭐️ For our journaling this week, let’s do the exercise MB provides at the end of the Chapter, to imagine what it would feel like to go slightly outside of our current role by completing this sentence:
“Today, I could break my role rules by _____.”
⭐️ How do you feel about the prospect of actually doing it? What if you broke the rules, just a little?
⭐️ Experiment. As MB says, try it:
“Do what you want. Break the rules. You will probably feel very anxious about this. Just breathe, calm your creature, and stay the course.”
⭐️ Journal to reflect on what happens. How do you feel, now that you’ve had this taste of freedom?
Are YOU as ready as I am to
let your Creative Genius BREAK FREE?
To embrace your Curiosity & Intuition,
and let go of society’s oppressive role rules?
We just have to remember:
Freedom’s found when we choose to define our own Identity & create our own Sanity-Quilt Life.
Joy can steer you. Drawing you closer to who you are meant to be,
pulling you like a magnet, from your past ho-hum Role
to a much brighter, happier, saner, & more peaceful existence!
👭 Do you want to enlist the help of a Fellow Creative, to help you BREAK FREE?
Our CHAT can be a safe place to tell safe people what you’d like to accomplish, so we can all support & cheer you on.
👭 If you’re comfortable doing so, feel free to tell us what Creative Practice you would like to try whenever one of your Anxiety Spirals starts to spin.
Let’s TRUST in our ability to create safety in ourselves by being the Creatives we are meant to be.
Together, we can support each other on our healing journeys.
Together, we can BREAK FREE.
The FREE Creative in me honors & respects the FREE Creative in each of you.
Marisa
⭐️ Remember, we don’t have to figure everything out, all alone. ⭐️
We can find solutions, together! Please join us in my
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