Synergy’s The Music That’s Inside of You
How I’m using Music to Reduce My Fear of Performing Publicly, and YOU can too!
SCENARIO #1
Picture a day at the spa, or a restorative series of asanas in your favorite yoga class.
What’s playing in the background?
Most likely, it’s soothing, peaceful music that’s lulling your body and mind, telling your Parasympathetic Nervous System that it’s safe for you to relax.
I can already hear it now: my inner voice, whispering to me, “Reeeeelllllaaaxxxx.”
🎵
SCENARIO #2
Now, imagine this:
The flash of a bright light switching on.
The camera lens is pointed right at you.
And the red light’s flashing BLINK BLINK BLINK.
Yes, you’ve hit record.
Your shoulders are already starting to hunch up.
Your breathing’s shallow.
And what’s that? It’s the trickle of sweat that’s already formed on your brow.
🎵
Now, which of these two scenarios would YOU rather be in?
‘Cause I find myself firmly planted in Scenario #2.
Why?
Because I had to go and get inspired by a few of my fellow amazing writers and musicians here on Medium and Substack.
They just had to spark something in me that said, “You know what? I should find a way to overcome my fear of Putting My Creative Self Out There! Of letting my Authentic Self be SEEN.
I should start a YouTube Channel and share my love of music that way!”
Good god, why did I decide to do that?!
Because all it’s led me to is Scenario #2.
No, I am NOT blissed out, loving myself on the yoga mat or massage table.
I’m sweating profusely, stuttering into the silence that surrounds me, with the flicker of that damned red light eyeing me like a judgmental mother-in-law.
So what’s a Creative to do?
Well, I’m not giving up, if that’s what you were thinking.
No, as I’ve said in many of my posts, I’ve wasted too many years focusing on myself as an Attorney.
And I remain steadfast in my dedication to unleashing the Creative in me.
But how can I do that, without unleashing the snarling Perfectionist in me, too?
Find the Synergy in What You CAN Do.
On the one hand,
🎵 I love music;
🎵 I love singing;
🎵 I love playing piano.
On the other hand,
as my palms sweat and my lips quiver at that blinking red light, I CLEARLY need to regulate my emotions to do all of these creative performances — publicly.
Why?
Because I started 2024 with a vow:
I’m making my Writing & Creativity a priority in my life!
But, to do that, I’ve got to get over my fears.
Like…
⚠️ the fear of practicing in public, or
⚠️ the fear of being imperfect, or
⚠️ the fear of not knowing the best way to do things when it comes to recording audio or video.
So, what’s a girl to do?
I’m not waiting for motivation.
I’m not waiting to get everything “just right.”
I’m not waiting to research anymore than I already have.
I’m not waiting to feel ready!
I’m jumping in — but I’m also going to honor my Self.
That means, recognizing that I do not feel comfortable.
That means, I have to find a way to support myself throughout the entire uneasy process of recording myself and hitting Publish!
But how?
By finding the synergy inside of me.
As I described in detail in this story, I have a unique definition of synergy: It’s the practice that requires us to unify all aspects of who we are and honor all of our feelings, so that we can build a Secure Attachment to our Self, and allow ourselves to BE SEEN for who we truly are.
That means that we’re NOT shoe-horning ourselves into situations that are beyond our capacity.
We’re NOT forcing ourselves to do anything more than what’s right for us, right now.
At this moment, that means that I have to honor the part of me that feels unsure and unsteady. The part that’s dreading the moment I hit record. And may want to faint when I do hit Publish on that video or audio, for the whole world to see.
I imagine it’s what most people would feel, if they were asked to give a public speech. After all, statistically speaking, Glossophobia (the fear of public speaking) affects approximately 75% of the population, some time or other in their life.
And, that’s ok.
As is my fear.
Because I’m not going to let my fear hold me back.
Instead…
I’m bringing Synergy to everything I do, including my Music:
That means, I’m going to align what I need emotionally (to soothe my emotions)
with what I need to do (to record and publish successfully).
How?
By choosing to sing the right songs: I can honor my fear and soothe myself if I begin with singing the most relaxing, calming songs, and share them with you.
It’s my hope, that in putting myself a little bit out there, I will not only help myself to get over my fear, but I can also find a way to help others, too.
Because…
That’s always worked for me: Thinking of others, instead of myself.
Since the very first time I took a Public Speaking Class in high school, and throughout my career as an Attorney, there’s always been something magical about using my voice to help others — instead of focusing on myself.
When my mind focused on me, my voice was there but, inside, I felt timid, shy, not sure of what to say or do.
But, when I focused on what I could say to help others…
like speaking up in class because I knew a classmate was too afraid to;
or,
making oral arguments for clients who can’t advocate for themselves…
That’s when the magic happens!
My fear disappears, and I can just focus on what I can give.
I’m choosing to focus on that: on what my voice can do to soothe, not only myself but other people, as well.
Because we’re all so anxious these days.
There’s always “more and more” to do, and not enough “less.”
And music is the perfect language to bridge the divide between me and you, like a gateway I can use to invite you to relax alongside me.
Together, we can listen to the lyrics. Lyrics I’m going to carefully choose, for their power to soothe, and to remind ourselves:
Life doesn’t have to be so complex all the time.
Sometimes, all we need is a little lullaby, a moment of peace to give our hearts and minds a few minutes to recharge and, perhaps, lull us into a restful sleep.
So — tell me — what’s YOUR favorite comforting relaxing song?
I’m compiling a list of my favorites.
Then get ready to hear me, ‘cause I’m literally telling myself, “Marisa, you promised yourself: You’re doing this!”
And, I mean it.
As I hit publish on this story, I’m casting my vote: to sing out loud and proud, the Synergy, the Poem, the Song that’s inside of me.
Because songs deserve to be sung. Especially the songs that are inside of us.
And like I’ve said before, and I’m reminding myself again, success in life’s all about “the yin and yang of affection embracing you, along with the hard push you need to make.”
So, here I go, guys. I’m pushing forward. Come what may.
The song in me honors and respects the song in each of you,
Marisa
♫
If you enjoyed this story and would like to hear or see me succeed (or flop 😂) as I practice in public, and you’d love to learn about the science of self-improvement, please signup for my free Substack Newsletter.
Together, we’ll explore all the ways that we can 10x our life — mind, body, & soul.
We’ll learn the scientific, physiological, and psychological reasons why we are the way that we are, and combine that understanding with simple, active practices that will:
• Enliven our emotions & creativity;
• Enhance our efficiency & productivity;
• Foster a greater depth of Self;
• Build the Secure Attachment that we need to develop a Growth Mindset; and,
• Reprogram our minds to pivot from the Sympathetic Nervous System to the Parasympathetic Nervous System when we need it to, more often than not.
I’ve planned so many exciting & fun things to share with you (in addition to music!) and I can’t wait for you to get all the FREE goodies I’ve prepared for you.
We CAN do this, TOGETHER!
Marisa
Attorney, Artist, and Author of THE OBSIDIAN CHRONICLES. Writer who believes in the power of words. Life-long learner who’s passionate about the science and art of self-improvement.
Join me, as we explore the science and skills behind VICTUS, the path and practice that can silence our inner critic and free us to be our truest, authentic self.