BEWARE Your Brain!
Chances are, your brain is lying to you.
There are serpents hiding in the grass!
Our brains are amazing…but, BE CAREFUL!
Because our brains are wired for survival, not success.
If our brains think we can handle a situation, that we can survive or even thrive with a particular task, our brains will help us to move towards it.
We’ll accept the invitation to the party.
We’ll agree to Chair the seminar.
But, if our brains see the event or task as something unfamiliar, our brains will immediately make us fearful.
Palms sweaty, our heart will palpitate, our stomach will feel queazy, like we’re about to barf, and our Inner Critic will tell us things like, “No! You’re terrible in social situations, don’t go!”
Suddenly, you’ll go from calm and centered to a jittery ball of anxiety.
And your brain reminds you of that time you choked, like when it was your turn to recite that poem in 5th Grade. “All you had to do was read a couple stanzas from the book that was right in front of you! But you couldn’t even do that,” your brain reminds you. And you remember what it felt like to stand there, trembling.
In the blink of an eye, your brain’s tormented you into submission.
You make up some excuse. You say you’re busy. You already accepted another invitation to do something else that day.
And, when the appointed time comes, you chill out at home, believing you’re safe.
Only you’re not.
Your brain’s used your emotions and memories to trick you into thinking all’s well.
But you’re lonely. Your list of awesome life experiences is shrinking. And, shh! You know you’ve secretly given up.
If this sounds like you…
Your brain’s NOT wired for success.
Just think about it:
To be successful, what qualities do we have to have?
What actions must we be willing to take?
• We have to be open to trying new, unfamiliar experiences.
• And we have to be willing to suck, often. Sometimes publicly.
That requires us to move toward fear.
To risk rejection and/or embarrassment.
To feel uncomfortable sensations in our bodies.
To withstand sometimes terrible feelings.
To ignore bad memories while we practice.
And stick with it, until we get better.
…if we get better.
Yes, that IF bears repeating:
We have to sacrifice comfort, for the mere possibility of future gain.
That’s a tall order.
Especially when our success isn’t guaranteed.
So, our brains will lie to us, to keep us exactly as we are, where we are — not growing.
Or…
Our brains might let us try, but become hyper-critical when scrutinizing our results.
When our results aren’t as great as we’d hoped, fear rises in our chest and we sense an internal resistance, urging us to stop.
We think things like, “Maybe I should give up. Maybe I’m just not smart enough.”
Perhaps we self-sabotage. We don’t study for the exam. Or wake up in time for that critical meeting, to discuss our potential to move up in the company.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
It all boils down to what we say when we talk to ourselves. To the negative self-talk we’re used to playing and replaying.
We could change it if we wanted to.
We just have to ask ourselves, “How often do we take the time to assess what we’re saying, thinking, feeling, or remembering?”
If we don’t, we’re in danger because…
Our brains are like a computer, recording and replaying each and every message we type into it, whether it’s true or not.
Really allow that to sink in:
Your brain doesn’t distinguish between what’s true or false.
Your brain will tell you the truth if and only if YOU tell yourself the truth.
And your brain will tell you — and believe — anything that’s false, if that’s what you’re programming into it.
Chances are — because you’re human — you’ve fallen victim to many a false narrative.
It could be something you picked up implicitly, when you witnessed other people’s interactions.
Or, maybe it’s a falsehood that was explicitly said to you, like how “men don’t cry” or some other nonsense like that.
Whether you got the message explicitly or implicitly, it doesn’t matter.
Your brain records and replays each and every message that’s typed into it, whether it’s true or false.
It retrieves the message with greater strength and speed if it’s reinforced by a powerful emotion, like fear, dread, shame, or embarrassment, to name a few.
And the more times anything false is repeated — without being challenged, questioned, or edited — the deeper that thought or memory will be ingrained.
That’s why it’s crucial to ask ourselves:
• “Are we allowing the wrong people to type the wrong messages on our keyboard?”
• And what about us? Are we guilty of typing in the wrong messages, too?
Take the time to ask yourself:
• “Who’s in charge of your conditioning?”
• “Are you giving yourself the most uplifting, inspiring messages?”
• “Or, are you letting yourself and others destroy your mindset?”
It matters.
Where we are in life — whether we’re successful or not — boils down to our mental programming.
That gal who feels like a million bucks, who’s taking charge of her new Marketing Team, trusts in her ability to command an audience, deliver a targeted message, and inspire the people she manages to reach their quarterly goal.
That doctor who’s trained in traditional oncology knows he’s fully capable of learning the latest in AI- and DNA-targeted techniques.
Not necessarily because either of these individuals have done it before.
But because they have the Positive Self-Talk to coach themselves to get themselves there.
Think of how much harder it would be if they didn’t. If every other moment, they let fear dictate what they told themselves. If they allowed themselves to question, endlessly, if they’d have what it takes.
Our ability to bring forth the absolute best in us depends on what we think.
So, let’s be mindful.
Let’s notice when our brains are recalling unhelpful messages, memories, or emotions, and ask whether they’re true or not.
Then, challenge all the lies.
If you don’t, and you allow your negative thinking patterns to keep running — mindlessly — you’ll make a monumental mistake:
You’ll believe that something false — about YOU — is actually true.
And it’s a quick slide down a slippery slope, to Low Self-Esteem.
Sure, it might start small.
After all, in any given day, there are many times things might not go your way.
But each time, your Inner Critic lets you have it.
“It’s all your fault,” you hear yourself say, and your brain quickly reminds you of all the similar memories and messages you’ve received in the past.
Your self-perception becomes cloudy, and you fail to maintain an accurate assessment of yourself.
What if you had no choice but to work on a project you were given last minute, and you were so sleep deprived the next day you forgot to do something important after work?
Is that really “all your fault”?
Maybe you’ve been too stressed because your lease is coming up and you still haven’t found a new apartment to move into. It’s been distracting, to say the least.
Or, it’s that time of the month for you ladies out there, but you know something’s off because you’re older now and your period’s all out of whack. You can tell your hormones aren’t like they used to be, and your OBGYN’s not being that helpful when it comes to troubleshooting your brain fog.
In all of these situations, you’re at risk for slipping into a negative thought pattern — of blaming yourself — and actually believing “It’s all your fault” is true.
No!
Protect your Self-Esteem! Whenever you find yourself in a negative pattern of self-blame, STOP!
Beware your brain!
Tell yourself to “Do no harm.”
Remind yourself that your brain could be lying to you.
Ask yourself, “What are the reasons to believe what you’re thinking?”
“Is there any possibility that your belief could be wrong?”
Counteract it with facts, logic, and reasoning.
And wait for any emotions to pass.
Then think about it critically — again.
Always pay attention to any trends: Is what you’re thinking now, different from what you’d think when you’re in a better mood?
Is this a pattern?
If it is, tell yourself to suspend belief.
Attack the thought from all angles.
Find the holes. Identify any improper reasoning.
Most of all, remember: Believing Anything is a Choice
A feeling’s just a feeling; a thought is just a thought.
No feeling or thought can hurt you if you don’t let it change the actions you know you need to take.
If you still do what needs to be done.
If you still do what’s best for you and your future.
So, if you can’t reason your way out of it, you can ignore it.
Yes, IGNORING negative thoughts is a life-changing way to stick to your long-term goals!
It’s precisely how I dig myself out of the mental/emotional hole I find myself in when I don’t feel like doing something.
Take writing, for example.
Sometimes I just don’t feel like it.
But I make myself ignore the falsehoods that keep firing in my brain: the Limiting Beliefs that say “I don’t have the time. Writing today? My schedule’s booked. It’s just too hard.”
When I feel that inner resistance, willing me to give up and do something else instead…
I talk it down, remind myself of all the reasons why I want to write, and do it!
But if reasoning with it doesn’t work, I do the next best thing:
I ignore the negative thoughts.
I ignore the negative feelings.
I remind myself, “They’re just a negative mental program that’s re-running. It’s just a loop that needs to be pruned away,” and I tell myself, “Ignore it,” because I realize, “My brain’s not being my friend right now.”
I don’t allow my brain to sway me away from taking the actions that I need to take, that I know will bring me closer to achieving my goals.
With a deep cleansing sigh…
I do the work anyway, and trust that my brain will get on board.
I open my laptop or take pen to paper and write.
And I see myself doing it.
I explicitly acknowledge, “I’m doing it — regardless of what my Inner Critic’s saying.”
Those few brief seconds make all the difference.
It allows me to see that I wrestled back all the control.
I distanced myself from my Monkey Mind, and let it continue chittering away.
It’s reassuring to know, “It’s just a negative thought pattern that I have to prune away. That takes time. But, this one instance counts as a rep. One rep will become two. Two will become four. On and on, it will compound until I have a new mental program — to do it anyway — that’s stronger than the Limiting one, that once played in the background.”
This is the best way to train yourself to SEE: You are NOT your negative thoughts or feelings.
As long as you’re AWARE, you have all the power.
What you see, you can avoid.
What you see, you can reject.
What you see, you can ignore.
What you see, you can overcome.
The Mental Master I see in me honors & respects the Mental Master I see in each of you,
Marisa
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Together, we’ll explore all the ways that we can 10x our life — mind, body, & soul.
We’ll learn the scientific, physiological, and psychological reasons why we are the way that we are, and combine that understanding with simple, active practices that will:
• Enliven our emotions & creativity;
• Enhance our efficiency & productivity;
• Foster a greater depth of Self;
• Build the Secure Attachment that we need to develop a Growth Mindset; and,
• Reprogram our minds to pivot from the Sympathetic Nervous System to the Parasympathetic Nervous System when we need it to, more often than not.
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Marisa
Attorney, Artist, and Author of THE OBSIDIAN CHRONICLES. Writer who believes in the power of words. Life-long learner who’s passionate about the science and art of self-improvement.
Join me, as we explore the science and skills behind VICTUS, the path and practice that can silence our inner critic and free us to be our truest, authentic self.
