Month: October 2024

Want to save your SOUL??!!!

Posted on by marisavictus

Want to save your SOUL??!!

Then read today’s M&M above.

Carving & Calligraphy ART by yours truly! a.k.a. the WITCH of HALLOWEEN!

Read this Story…if you DARE! Mwha-ha-ha!

&

SUBSCRIBE TO MY FREE SUBSTACK!

Every day, I write & share 1 handwritten M&M if you want to grow with me.

Entrain your brain the quick & easy way, with this Mindset & Meditation (M&M) practice. To learn how, click this link.

If you would like to hear or see me succeed (or flop 😂) as I practice in public, and you’d love to learn about the science of self-improvement, please Subscribe to my new YouTube Channel and signup for my free Substack Newsletter.

Together, we’ll explore all the ways that we can 10x our life — mind, body, & soul.

We’ll learn the scientific, physiological, and psychological reasons why we are the way that we are, and combine that understanding with simple, active practices that will:

• Enliven our emotions & creativity;

• Enhance our efficiency & productivity;

• Foster a greater depth of Self;

• Build the Secure Attachment that we need to develop a Growth Mindset; and,

• Reprogram our minds to pivot from the Sympathetic Nervous System to the Parasympathetic Nervous System when we need it to, more often than not.

I’ve planned so many exciting & fun things to share with you (in addition to music!) and I can’t wait for you to get all the FREE goodies I’ve prepared for you.

We CAN do this, TOGETHER!

Marisa

 

 

In addition, new Chapters for my serialized science fiction series (THE OBSIDIAN CHRONICLES) are released every weekend on Substack. Substack Subscribers can read the 1st Book in the series for FREE! Just click here to opt-in + receive my Fiction writing!

Attorney, Artist, and Author of THE OBSIDIAN CHRONICLES. Writer who believes in the power of words. Life-long learner who’s passionate about the science and art of self-improvement. 

Join me, as we explore the science and skills behind VICTUS, the path and practice that can silence our inner critic and free us to be our truest, authentic self. 

Want to Live a Happier Life, Filled with Synergy, Flow, and Freedom in Everything You Do? 

Then Sign-Up for The VICTUS Method Newsletter @ my Contact Page.

HALLOWEEN WHISPERS: An Invitation from the Depths of Your Soul

Posted on by marisavictus

HALLOWEEN WHISPERS:

An Invitation from the Depths of Your Soul 

Mwah-ha-ha!

In my post, The Beauty of Fall: How to Hygge & Savor Your Life, I reminded us of the many ways we can soften, rest, and recover.
It is equally important to enjoy each other’s company, to strike an air of conviviality with our friends and family — and, perhaps, most of all, children.

Including the Inner Child in each of us.

But how?
As you may recall, one of my absolute favorite fall activities is Trick-or-Treating to celebrate Halloween with my kids. My kiddos wear their favorite costumes that change year-after-year.
And, guess what? I get into it, too!

First, I get dressed up.

Using black eyeliner, I bring out the artist in me. I paint on a lil cat nose and whiskers, and I don a pair of fluffy cat ears.
We walk the entire neighborhood, and we’re blessed to have a neighborhood where everyone gets into the Halloween spirit. Even if our neighbors don’t have kids, they set up firepits, enjoy drinks, and hand out candy. They decorate their homes — inside and out — with all sorts of spooky and not-so-spooky sights. Families from all over drive to our neighborhood to enjoy the night out.
When we get home from exploring and trick-or-treating, with my kids’ bags full of candies, my kids are just as excited to hand candies out to the other children who visit our home.
The entire process reminds me of what it was like, to be a kid, so excited to hand out all of the candies I’d prepared for my friends.
I don’t see myself stopping, not even when my kids are older. Like my neighbors, I’ll be getting into the Halloween spirit forever! It’ll keep me young, because there’ll never come a day when I consider myself “too old.”

Second, I participate in the pumpkin carving.

My kids each get their own pumpkins to carve. I help them to carve their chosen designs, and then I turn my attention to a pumpkin devoted just for me.
Yes, you read that right! I buy my very own pumpkin, and I dive into a detailed pumpkin carving.
Over the years, I’ve done so many. They’ve gotten more intricate over time. Morphing from the black cat with its arched back, to Elsa & Olaf one year, to Harry Potter and a Dragon next.
Like this:
I’ve gotten so into it and become attached to some of the designs that I’ve even started buying Foam Pumpkins so my carvings don’t have to rot away come November.
Like that:

Now, some people might laugh at me and think, “She’s a grown adult! She must be so childish” to be into Halloween like this.

But, these simple, traditional activities have brought me so much joy!
And quite a challenge, as well!
Because pumpkin carving’s NOT so easy.
You have to create a design that’s essentially backward, because the areas that you sketch in black need to be the pumpkin you LEAVE ALONE. And the paper that you’ve left white needs to be the pumpkin you CARVE AWAY. You also have to be careful that you leave the pumpkin that’s left ATTACHED to the rest of the pumpkin! (Believe me, if you make a mistake, it can be quite a challenge to correct an overzealous knife!)
It’s a little exercise in mental gymnastics that I’ve gotten better at year after year. And, yet, so much time passes between Halloweens that it does take me a few minutes to grow accustomed to it each time I start the carving process.
I’ve also created some tricks to be able to tell what the final carving will look like when it’s lit up. And I find it quite funny when you compare and contrast the ugly look of a fully-carved pumpkin under the glare of kitchen lights, versus how it looks at night, when it’s lit from the inside, by candlelight. Sometimes, your brain can hardly believe it transforms from something so hideous and unrecognizable into something that resembles what you’ve chosen it to be once it’s lit up. Yet again, it’s the mental exercise that’s so interesting and fun to me.
Most of all, it’s the emotional feeling it gives to me that makes it all worthwhile.
Whether it’s trick-or-treating, carving a pumpkin, or decorating the house for Halloween or fall, I absolutely love the sense of freedom it gives me to PLAY!

Play must be an extremely important part of everyone’s life — whether we’re children or adults.

It allows our brains to maintain flexibility. It reminds us to stop pursuing Perfectionism. It opens us to trying and being willing to fail at new things. It prevents us from taking ourselves or life too seriously. It feels absolutely amazing in our bodies. And, especially for me, it heals my Inner Child, who was raised to pursue the “A” so much that she believed we have to be serious all of the time to be successful.
No! How wrong I was!
It’s when we play that our brains love to learn.
It’s when we play that our spirit’s able to soar. 
It’s when we play that we have the freedom to be who we truly wish to be.
So, as Halloween rears its spooky head tomorrow, please do yourself a favor…

Ghost your tendency to button down!

Dress up. Get silly. Eat some yummy candy. Now, go out and have yourself a blast!

The Sally (& Jack) Skellington in me honors & respects the Sally or Jack Skellington in each of you,

Marisa

If you would like to hear or see me succeed (or flop 😂) as I practice in public, and you’d love to learn about the science of self-improvement, please Subscribe to my new YouTube Channel and signup for my free Substack Newsletter.

Together, we’ll explore all the ways that we can 10x our life — mind, body, & soul.

We’ll learn the scientific, physiological, and psychological reasons why we are the way that we are, and combine that understanding with simple, active practices that will:

• Enliven our emotions & creativity;

• Enhance our efficiency & productivity;

• Foster a greater depth of Self;

• Build the Secure Attachment that we need to develop a Growth Mindset; and,

• Reprogram our minds to pivot from the Sympathetic Nervous System to the Parasympathetic Nervous System when we need it to, more often than not.

I’ve planned so many exciting & fun things to share with you (in addition to music!) and I can’t wait for you to get all the FREE goodies I’ve prepared for you.

We CAN do this, TOGETHER!

Marisa

 

Are you serious about self-improvement & want to have unstoppable self-belief?

Then SUBSCRIBE TO MY FREE SUBSTACK and entrain your brain the quick & easy way, with my daily Mindset & Meditation (M&M) practice. To learn how, click this link.

Every day, I write & share 1 handwritten M&M if you want to grow with me.

 

In addition, new Chapters for my serialized science fiction series (THE OBSIDIAN CHRONICLES) are released every weekend on Substack. Substack Subscribers can read the 1st Book in the series for FREE! Just click here to opt-in + receive my Fiction writing!

Attorney, Artist, and Author of THE OBSIDIAN CHRONICLES. Writer who believes in the power of words. Life-long learner who’s passionate about the science and art of self-improvement. 

Join me, as we explore the science and skills behind VICTUS, the path and practice that can silence our inner critic and free us to be our truest, authentic self. 

Want to Live a Happier Life, Filled with Synergy, Flow, and Freedom in Everything You Do? 

Then Sign-Up for The VICTUS Method Newsletter @ my Contact Page.

VICTUS MINDSET MEDITATION: Enjoy a Victus M&M every day!

Posted on by marisavictus

Handwritten by me, just for you!

VICTUS MINDSET MEDITATION:

Enjoy a Victus M&M every day!

This is the 5-STAR System to Attain Unstoppable Self-Belief!

The sweet, quick ‘n easy way to entrain your brain!

Are you merely interested — or DEDICATED — to improving yourself?

Do you simply dabble in self-improvement, or are you willing to do whatever it takes to reach your goals?

Do you want to be dragged or propelled to greatness?

Do you ever wonder, “What could I do if I had unstoppable self-belief?”

If the answer’s yes, I hope you take me up on this invitation, to give yourself what’s best: a fully-realized, deeply-embodied sense of Self.

If you’re serious about being the absolute BEST YOU, I want to share the daily practice that’s made all the difference for me.

Multiple times a day, I enjoy a Victus M&M treat that centers & strengthens me all day long.

I used to torture myself. To put myself down. I demanded perfection. It was impossible. But, I faulted myself just the same. I really made myself miserable.

Not anymore!

When the pain became unbearable, I came up with the VICTUS Mindset.

Victus is Latin for “way of life.”

© Marisa Victus

It reminds me to BE INTENTIONAL about how I live my life, starting with the words and thoughts I choose to think.

Every day, I entrain my brain with a Victus Mindset Meditation.

It only takes a few minutes a day, but it’s a life-changing practice: I’m happier, more motivated, able to take action, and expand my comfort zone — with significantly less fear, anxiety, or stress.

I’m using it now to pursue all of my passions. Gone are the days of denying who I am. I’m pursuing all of my dreams, without the shackles of old Limiting Beliefs.

I want the same for you.

So, I will start sharing my Daily VICTUS Mindset Meditations on Substack.

Subscribe to my FREE Substack Newsletter to get a new one every day.

Then commit to reading it multiple times.

You can do it whenever it suits you.

Or, if you’re serious about maximizing your reps, use all your senses.

Make it sparkle in your mind, like a 5-point Star ⭐️:

(1) See: Read it silently to yourself. This cultivates the Inner Voice (wisdom & intuition) inside of you.

(2) Hear: Read it out loud. Hear yourself saying it in your own voice. Your Outer Voice (confidence & expression) will grow stronger, the more that you do.

(3) Feel Your Feelings While you Meditate: Close your eyes. Take 10 deep, steady, calming breaths, and focus your attention inward. Allow yourself to completely embody the message. Imagine how it feels in your body to believe it, wholeheartedly. Imagine what you will be able to do when it becomes one with you. Feel the joy you’ll have when you truly believe in yourself and trust the most important person in your life: YOU.

(4) Touch — Electrify Your Intention to Heal with the Power of Kinesthesia: With your hands on your heart, lock in the goodness of this healing practice. Acknowledge the immense power of taking the time to honor yourself today. Welcome the love you have for yourself. It’s always there, waiting and ready for you.

(5) Speak — Express Yourself to Maximize Your Dopamine Reward System: I like to think of this 5th Step as the tip of my 5-Point Star.

For the first 4 points, you’ve looked inward.

For the 5th point, you’re sending your message out into the world, like you’re shooting your own unique star into the Universe.

You can hit the “Like” button to affirm the message and/or Comment.

You can keep it simple with a heart emoji.

Or, 10x your intention by sharing the Action you’re doing or have already taken — today — to actively align yourself with the message.

It can be as simple as, “I took 10 deeply calming breaths today.”

Or, hitting “Like” on another person’s comment, like a virtual high-five from you to them.

Whether it’s a detailed comment, or a simple “Like” or thumbs-up emoji, do what feels right for you, to affirm the message to yourself and share this goodness with the world outside of you.

That’s precisely what I’m doing.

When I post my M&M every day, I’m affirming the message I’ve posted.

And when you see me in the comments, posting a heart, you’ll know I’m thinking of what I’ve handwritten for you, here:

The Science

The first 4 points of our Star work together to regulate our body’s nervous system. To shift ourselves out of the Sympathetic Nervous System, and any state of fight-flight-freeze-or-fawn that we might be in during the chaos of our regular day.

When we take the time to enjoy the M&M and go inward, the 4 points center us, and activate our Parasympathetic Nervous System, so we can rest-and-digest. This will center us and give us greater focus and clarity of thought, so we can take intentional, yet relaxed, action. The more reps we do, the more steps we’ll take toward our goals.

The 5th point is the tip on our Star, and it packs a powerful punch because it actively rewires your brain when you engage with the material. Your brain sees you taking ACTION. You’re no longer a passive consumer. The act of engaging counts as a quick & easy “First Win.” And, the more action you take, the more Stars you shoot throughout the day, the more progress you’ll make to win with your emotions, goals, and life.

What’s more, when you set the intention to celebrate the sincere effort you’re making to embody the message and adopt it as an integral part of you, you get an immediate hit of the dopamine that’s part of the Seek-and-Reward cycle.

Most importantly, you’re giving yourself this hit of dopamine now, to celebrate the process, rather than reserving it for some distant future, when your ultimate goal is finally achieved.

There are 6 Bonuses to celebrating this way:

  1. By not delaying your pride and joy until after you’ve reached your long-term goal, you avoid a drastic drop of dopamine, known as “post achievement depression.”

  2. By celebrating now, your brain notes how much it matters to you. It won’t be long before the Reticular Activating System in your brain looks for more ways to make the message one with you.

  3. When you participate in the comments, you’re supercharging your entrainment with the power of community. The old adage, “Sharing is caring,” is true. When you “Like” someone else’s comment, it’s like a virtual high-five. We’re cheering each other on, as we’re all overcoming our obstacles. And, when you share your thoughts with others, you see you’re not alone. You’re climbing your Everest, just like the other climbers around you. You have the same insecurities and obstacles to overcome as others. Whatever you write might inspire someone else to do the same. It’s a dopamine-boosting act of altruism that helps others, not only you.

  4. You learn once and for all to stop postponing your happiness. This is how we generate a never-ending cycle of dopamine to motivate us. We must celebrate the steps as we climb, not the Summit only.

  5. If you’re like me, the chemical rewards in your body and the surrounding sense of community will feel so good, you’ll want to repeat this transformational practice day after day.

  6. Your dedication and determination will grow exponentially, when you notice your thinking and emotions are more positive, overall, and you take more action in your day-to-day life.

Just Remember: To truly benefit from this, you MUST repeat the 5-Star practice many times a day!

Generate as many stars as you can each day. Launch them into the sky, and watch the best of you sparkle and shine!

But — a word of caution — don’t be surprised if you don’t feel like repeating the 5-Star process.

In the beginning, a part of you might not want to repeat the process. In our instant-gratification-obsessed society, so many posts and messages compete for our attention every second.

But remember, this is a mindfulness practice.

So make mindfulness a top priority.

Personally, I love to use humor to motivate me to stick to my routines. When I picture an M&M, I think, Ooh, I’d never turn one down. I’d always want to eat it, no matter how many times a day an M&M was offered to me. So picturing an M&M makes me laugh. When I picture it in my hand, it’s a cue that reminds my mind to “eat” it, and I launch into my 5-Star M&M routine.

But, in all seriousness, the “M&M” is no joke.

That & is intentional. It requires you to commit to both practices:

(1) Focused training for your MINDSET;

AND,

(2) Focused MEDITATION to entrain and reprogram your brain multiple times a day.

If you are serious about improving yourself and actually reaching your goals, you have to be dedicated to repetition.

You have to train your Monkey Mind to not jump to the next post or message. You do not want to just scroll your life away.

The purpose is to be still and engage with this one message at least five times a day if you are serious about making real change in your life.

And I do mean real change. Not just how you feel. But the physiological changes that you can actually produce in your brain with the power of neuroplasticity.

So, yes, repetition is required.

It’s the repetition that rewires our neural circuitry and prunes away older, unhelpful neural programs.

It’s the repetition that entrains our brains to make any Mindset practice a permanent “way of life.”

But, you can RELAX: Repetition can be easy.

Repetition needn’t be complicated.

We can enhance our neuroplasticity by folding it into our regular routine.

I like to do it ⭐️5 times a day⭐️.

It’s easy to remember, when:

1⭐️I wake.

2⭐️I start my work.

3⭐️I take a break.

4⭐️I eat a meal.

5⭐️I go to bed at night.

That’s at least five times a day to be mindful. To take control of who I am, in the present moment.

It’s the best treat I can give to myself.

These M&Ms have transformed my life!

My results speak for themselves:

With the right Mindset, I take the right Action.

Plus, I feel happy and excited, imagining how much farther along I will be, the longer I keep this practice up.

So, I’ll practice in public.

Day after day, I’ll think of these posts as a great big bag of M&Ms. I’ll pick my favorites to add to the bag and share them with you.

So, for your benefit & mine, let’s put our minds where our mouths are! Let’s repeat our M&M for today:

“What I give to the world comes back, ten-fold. When I follow my dreams, I know you can, too.”

And, let’s entrain our brains to remember WHY we’re doing what we do:

These M&Ms bring synergy to Positive Self-Talk and Meditation, merging them into a fast, easy, and practical 5-Star System for unstoppable self-belief!

You do NOT have to live an unhappy, unfulfilled life.

I know, because I was depressed and anxious for many years.

Trying to wear the Mask that others wished me to wear.

But that’s not me.

And these M&M’s have shown me it’s okay to be who I am, and grow into who I choose to be.

I only wish I’d created the VICTUS Method earlier.

This M&M practice is what I wish I had when I was growing up, and trying to figure out how to live my life.

Now that I have it, I’ll continue to practice it until the day I die. Because I know the process of self-improvement and self-acceptance never ends.

And now I know the process doesn’t have to be painful.

It takes me only a few minutes.

I feel amazing when I do it.

And I feel confident when I take action. I feel energized, instead of fearful — like I can take on anything.

That’s what keeps me coming back for another handful of M&Ms.

I’ve got plenty to share.

Want some?

It’s never too late!

To live life to the fullest.

To enjoy the beautiful process of Becoming who we so deeply wish to be.

To savor life’s richness, by sharing the goodness in all of us.

Try it & see how sweet life can be.

Enjoy an M&M, one day at a time.

Give yourself the very best: a truly authentic YOU.

Mmm! 😂

Marisa

If you would like to hear or see me succeed (or flop 😂) as I practice in public, and you’d love to learn about the science of self-improvement, please Subscribe to my new YouTube Channel and signup for my free Substack Newsletter.

Together, we’ll explore all the ways that we can 10x our life — mind, body, & soul.

We’ll learn the scientific, physiological, and psychological reasons why we are the way that we are, and combine that understanding with simple, active practices that will:

• Enliven our emotions & creativity;

• Enhance our efficiency & productivity;

• Foster a greater depth of Self;

• Build the Secure Attachment that we need to develop a Growth Mindset; and,

• Reprogram our minds to pivot from the Sympathetic Nervous System to the Parasympathetic Nervous System when we need it to, more often than not.

I’ve planned so many exciting & fun things to share with you (in addition to music!) and I can’t wait for you to get all the FREE goodies I’ve prepared for you.

We CAN do this, TOGETHER!

Marisa

 

 

In addition, new Chapters for my serialized science fiction series (THE OBSIDIAN CHRONICLES) are released every weekend on Substack. Substack Subscribers can read the 1st Book in the series for FREE! Just click here to opt-in + receive my Fiction writing!

Attorney, Artist, and Author of THE OBSIDIAN CHRONICLES. Writer who believes in the power of words. Life-long learner who’s passionate about the science and art of self-improvement. 

Join me, as we explore the science and skills behind VICTUS, the path and practice that can silence our inner critic and free us to be our truest, authentic self. 

Want to Live a Happier Life, Filled with Synergy, Flow, and Freedom in Everything You Do? 

Then Sign-Up for The VICTUS Method Newsletter @ my Contact Page.

BREAK FREE: Break the Mask Other People Made You Wear

Posted on by marisavictus

BREAK FREE: Break the Mask Other People Made You Wear

Craft Your Own Mask to Master Your Own Mountain

To prepare for his role in the autobiographical movie, Man on the Moon, Jim Carrey utilized Method Acting to completely embody Andy Kaufman.

Throughout the four month shoot, he lived, breathed, and acted like Andy. And he was relentless. He didn’t quit when the cameras stopped rolling. He kept at it, even when shooting was done for the day. Even when no one else was around.

He became Andy to such a degree that even those who personally knew the real Andy have said that Jim Carrey was indistinguishable from the late, great Andy Kaufman himself.

That — in and of itself — is an impressive feat.

But, what’s even more astonishing is, when production ended, Jim found he couldn’t even remember who he was anymore. Who was “Jim Carrey”? What did “Jim Carrey” like or dislike? He hadn’t a clue. He simply forgot who “Jim Carrey” was!

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t recall what he once liked or thought, and he’d lost his particular quirks and preferences, too.

For the first time in his life, he realized that “Jim Carrey” was just a character he was playing.

Being “Jim Carrey” was just another mask.

Indeed, we’re all wearing “Masks” that we call our “Identity.”

Does that scare you?

It shouldn’t.

That realization can set you FREE!

It means we can all just as easily choose to wear a different mask — indeed, a more empowering mask — if we so choose.

What Mask do you wear?

As a teen, I fell in love with Creative Writing.

But, over the years, I was pulled in a different direction, and took one of the prescribed “safe and secure” routes: I became an Attorney.

This allowed me to blend my love of writing with my oral advocacy skills.

But, my desire to write fiction as a Creative Writer and devote myself to art, music, and non-legal journalism, never left.

Worse, the more I tried to ignore that burning desire, the unhappier it made me.

Everything changed in 2024.

That January, I vowed to embark on my Attorney-to-Creative Journey.

To don a new Mask.

To try every Creative endeavor I wished to explore, and see where the path might lead.

Now that I’m ten months into it, I realize that this has been a gradual, somewhat painful, and certainly eye-opening experience.

Donning a new mask is worth it, but it’s far from easy.

Just getting started required me to overcome a massive emotional hurdle, so large it can’t even be described as a “hurdle.” This is no lil bump.

Why?

Because I had so many people tell me — implicitly and explicitly — to NOT do it. To focus only on my role as an Attorney. Lest I be seen as “not serious enough about my job.”

Others saw my creative writing, music, and art as mere “hobbies,” not to be taken seriously.

And, before I found refuge in a community of amazingly creative Writers and Readers on Medium and Substack, these negative false beliefs reigned supreme in the vacuum of my mind.

It’s like the naysayers held power over the entire universe, rather than being what they are: a mere subset of society.

Suffice it to say, the emotional block I had to overcome was no mere “hurdle.” These negative limiting beliefs were like massive, sharp crags, threatening to impale me at the base of a Mountain I couldn’t even begin to climb until I survived the crags first.

Outsiders may think nothing of this. And I understand — intellectually — that it makes no sense to give so much weight to other people’s opinions.

But…

Emotional cuts can fester into life-altering wounds if we let them; and, sometimes, the earlier we’re cut, the more deeply they’re etched into the Masks that we wear.

In fact, it’s no surprise to me. Aside from the few blissful years I had in my early childhood, when I was allowed to just be and explore everything that inspired me, I quickly learned that there was a so-called “successful” way to be.

And, as I entered Middle School, shit got real. I was raised to meet expectations that were beyond Perfectionism. Achievement was drilled into my head from a young age.

Eventually, it seeped into my being, until it became too closely tied to my sense of worthiness — not just academically, but personally, too.

I felt I had to have a certain temperament, to behave in a particular way, and perform at the highest, Perfect level.

No one told me — explicitly — that I had to do this, to deserve love.

But, the praise that was heaped on me when I did achieve felt too amazing to make the distinction in my young little mind.

There was always the fear that, if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be worthy. If I didn’t, I’d be “not that good.” If I didn’t, I’d be loved less, wouldn’t I? No one said that to me. But, that fear was there, just the same.

And it didn’t leave. It couldn’t. Not even after I’d practiced law for many years. Not when the naysayers said, “Don’t” when it came to Creative work.

The wounds in my Mask had never healed.

So, emotionally, the idea of pursuing a Creative career generated real fear.

Not a “primal fear” that risks death, like a lion about to pounce.

But an “intellectual fear” that risked my being cast out from the tribe. Taking the risk would mean risking not being accepted, not being loved.

Escaping this predicament seemed insurmountable, so much so it impacted my health.

For years, I tried to deny my Creative interests, to do “what was expected” of me. I didn’t want to disappoint my family or colleagues, and I let their definition of “success” define what success meant for me.

I kept quiet about my creative longings, and I donned the mask that they wanted me to wear.

For days, weeks, and years on end.

But my body kept the score.

My body punished me with terrible emotions — this endlessly aching, sinking feeling that I was not allowing myself to be who I was, or become who I was meant to be.

This restlessness was my Inner Knowing.

And a war was being waged between my Inner Knowing and my Inner Critic, who sounded exactly like all the naysayers around me.

I tried to ignore it. To focus on my legal work, and make peace with that.

But, my Inner Knowing took control of my body. It gave me horrible migraines with endless rumination and restless sleep.

Until I couldn’t take it anymore.

My Inner Knowing rejected the Mask.

Perhaps it had to be so painful; otherwise, I wouldn’t have listened.

Ultimately, the pain served me well:

The pain of DENYING my Authentic Self became WORSE than the pain of wearing the Mask that everyone else wanted me to wear.

So, I forged my own Mask, one that honored *everything* that I wanted to do.

A Mask that merged and synergized all the best in me.

It’s a work in progress. But, I’m the Artist who’s crafting it.

And other people’s Limiting Beliefs are NOT part of the design.

Those Limiting Beliefs belong to the Naysayers — and, like any mask, we can choose to “take them off,” too.

Then came the greatest Mindset Reset, that gave me the courage to abandon their Mask permanently:

I became a mom.

And that gave me the biggest WHY to do what I’ve set out to do.

When I see my two beautiful kids, I realize that they look to me to guide them in life, and I do not take that responsibility lightly.

It’s my duty — not just to me, but to them — to not only tell them, but show them how important it is to value and honor your truest authentic Self and pursue ALL that interests us in life.

And it’s lit a fire under my ass.

I’ve taken a sledgehammer to the old Mask that’s marred by all those Limiting Words that cut me so deep.

It’ll stay cracked and broken, in the trash.

I’m never going to tell my kids to wear it.

Instead, I’ll show them that the naysayers are wrong: You CAN pursue more than one career! Indeed, you might pursue many careers in your lifetime. And that doesn’t make you “less than.”

It makes you MORE.

It makes you whole.

It makes you special.

It allows you to blend all the skills and talents that you have, and that should be celebrated. Because everyone should let their uniqueness shine.

Becoming a parent has allowed me to fully embody this Mindset.

And, it’s taught me to treat myself with much more kindness than ever. My kids have taught me that.

Indeed, the Greatest Lesson I’ve learned, since wearing my most treasured “Mom Mask” is: HONOR Your Self.

Be true to who you are.

It’s the ultimate kindness. The best act of self-compassion.

And it’s NOT some platitude or hippy dippy shit.

It cures the internal pain that we all feel.

And, take it easy on yourself.

When I judge myself for learning this lesson so late in my life, for not being as far along as I would like, for thinking — mistakenly — that “I am late” — I’ve learned to be gentle with myself.

This did not come naturally to me, but as a result of observing the radical difference between how I was toward myself (too harsh, critical, and demanding), but I was gentle when guiding my children to learn and try again if they made mistakes.

For the first time, when I became a mom, I truly saw the stark contrast between my gentleness and patience with them, and the relentless and unforgiving Perfectionism I applied to myself.

I realized then that no good comes from being a Taskmaster, from being so stern with myself.

Just as I do not treat my kids that way and expect them to be intrinsically motivated to improve.

Parenting my children taught me to treat myself in a more balanced and loving way and, slowly but surely, I began to be more kind and gentle with myself.

I also learned to forgive myself for what I did not know before.

And, I remind myself, there’s plenty of time, when we give ourselves patience to learn, make mistakes, pivot, and focus on making 1% improvements, one step at a time.

What about you?

Have you ever done something for yourself, despite other people telling you NOT to?

In what ways have you been led astray by other people’s Limiting Beliefs?

Did you BREAK FREE?

Did you trash Their Mask?

I did. And I am far happier for it.

I’m nowhere near the top of the Mountain.

But I’m past the crags.

And I’m beginning my ascent.

There’s so much to learn and so many challenges ahead, but

It’s ***MY CHOICE*** to climb this Mountain.

And it’s the Mask that *I* designed that’s oxygenating my life.

That’s what’s motivating and propelling me forward.

And I’m gonna keep climbing with all of my might.

The Mask-Breaking Mountaineer in me honors & respects The Mask-Breaking Mountaineer in each of you,

Marisa

If you would like to hear or see me succeed (or flop 😂) as I practice in public, and you’d love to learn about the science of self-improvement, please Subscribe to my new YouTube Channel and signup for my free Substack Newsletter.

Together, we’ll explore all the ways that we can 10x our life — mind, body, & soul.

We’ll learn the scientific, physiological, and psychological reasons why we are the way that we are, and combine that understanding with simple, active practices that will:

• Enliven our emotions & creativity;

• Enhance our efficiency & productivity;

• Foster a greater depth of Self;

• Build the Secure Attachment that we need to develop a Growth Mindset; and,

• Reprogram our minds to pivot from the Sympathetic Nervous System to the Parasympathetic Nervous System when we need it to, more often than not.

I’ve planned so many exciting & fun things to share with you (in addition to music!) and I can’t wait for you to get all the FREE goodies I’ve prepared for you.

We CAN do this, TOGETHER!

Marisa

 

 

In addition, new Chapters for my serialized science fiction series (THE OBSIDIAN CHRONICLES) are released every weekend on Substack. Substack Subscribers can read the 1st Book in the series for FREE! Just click here to opt-in + receive my Fiction writing!

Attorney, Artist, and Author of THE OBSIDIAN CHRONICLES. Writer who believes in the power of words. Life-long learner who’s passionate about the science and art of self-improvement. 

Join me, as we explore the science and skills behind VICTUS, the path and practice that can silence our inner critic and free us to be our truest, authentic self. 

Want to Live a Happier Life, Filled with Synergy, Flow, and Freedom in Everything You Do? 

Then Sign-Up for The VICTUS Method Newsletter @ my Contact Page.

Honor the Seasons of Your Life: Allow What No Longer Serves You to Fall Away

Posted on by marisavictus

Honor the Seasons of Your Life:

Allow What No Longer Serves You to Fall Away

STOP Denying Your True Nature

Last week, I wrote a post about how we can bring more hygge into our lives if we welcome the fall season, give ourselves the gift of time to participate in the season’s festivities, and create comfort as a deliberate practice in our daily lives.

Today, I would like to talk about the importance of honoring all the Seasons of our Life.

When I speak of “the Seasons of our Life,” there are many different ways that we could think about it.

Today, let’s delineate the seasons based on the main milestones we all reach, from childhood to adulthood.

In childhood, we slowly begin to discover who we are, what kind of career path we want to take, and we go through our education. That might mean we go to college, get a Bachelors, a Masters, or a higher-level degree. Then, we enter the workforce and push to make something of our chosen professional lives.

If we’re lucky, we find a strong sense of capital P “Purpose” in that.

Other times, our world might turn upside down. Our Purpose might change. We might discover that a particular career path isn’t right for us. Or maybe it was right for us at one point in time, but now things have shifted and what once served us doesn’t serve us anymore.

Echoing what I said in my last post, it’s important to realize that that change, that shift, and, yes, that falling away is natural.

We are NOT Machines!

We are not made of steel, built to work in only one direction.

We are not Fortune 500 companies that absolutely must deliver to meet a Quarterly forecast.

We are not on some endless production line, though we often describe ourselves as mere “cogs in a wheel.”

No!

We have a natural ebb and flow.

We are miracles of biology.

We are one with Nature.

We were once tiny acorns.

Now, we are great and mighty oaks.

We must honor our Nature, as living, breathing, human beings

Just as the great oak allows its once resplendent leaves to change color and fall away, as we enter the fall Season of our Lives, we, too, can soften and allow what no longer serves us to change and even fall away, if that is what’s right for us, if that rings true to us at this point in time.

We are allowed to listen to the Nature within us.

We are not required to force ourselves to be what we’re not.

We needn’t push for Summer when the leaves have fallen or the icy cold has begun to set in.

We must give ourselves permission to honor the Season we’re in, in our lives.

In a way that is unique to us.

Not based on what others wish us to be.

Not based on what others wish to do.

But, what is right for us, based on our own individual Nature.

This is True, but Not Necessarily Easy.

As we pass through the Seasons and allow ourselves the grace to change, release, and grow, we may come to experience some sadness — for what once was.

But there’s beauty in it, as well.

When we discover that a purpose of ours has changed, the positive description of that is growth.

We have to let go of what is stale. We have to prune away what doesn’t work to make room for new growth and rejuvenation.

This fall, give yourself the gift of time, to reflect on what no longer serves you.

Is now the right time, to let it go?

Imagine it falling, like leaves gently falling down to the forest floor.

There’s room on your mighty oak now.

What’s the new, beautiful branch that you intend to grow?

The Mighty Oak in Me Honors & Respects the Mighty Oak in Each of You,

Marisa

If you would like to hear or see me succeed (or flop 😂) as I practice in public, and you’d love to learn about the science of self-improvement, please Subscribe to my new YouTube Channel and signup for my free Substack Newsletter.

Together, we’ll explore all the ways that we can 10x our life — mind, body, & soul.

We’ll learn the scientific, physiological, and psychological reasons why we are the way that we are, and combine that understanding with simple, active practices that will:

• Enliven our emotions & creativity;

• Enhance our efficiency & productivity;

• Foster a greater depth of Self;

• Build the Secure Attachment that we need to develop a Growth Mindset; and,

• Reprogram our minds to pivot from the Sympathetic Nervous System to the Parasympathetic Nervous System when we need it to, more often than not.

I’ve planned so many exciting & fun things to share with you (in addition to music!) and I can’t wait for you to get all the FREE goodies I’ve prepared for you.

We CAN do this, TOGETHER!

Marisa

 

 

In addition, new Chapters for my serialized science fiction series (THE OBSIDIAN CHRONICLES) are released every weekend on Substack. Substack Subscribers can read the 1st Book in the series for FREE! Just click here to opt-in + receive my Fiction writing!

Attorney, Artist, and Author of THE OBSIDIAN CHRONICLES. Writer who believes in the power of words. Life-long learner who’s passionate about the science and art of self-improvement. 

Join me, as we explore the science and skills behind VICTUS, the path and practice that can silence our inner critic and free us to be our truest, authentic self. 

Want to Live a Happier Life, Filled with Synergy, Flow, and Freedom in Everything You Do? 

Then Sign-Up for The VICTUS Method Newsletter @ my Contact Page.

The Beauty of Fall: How to Hygge & Savor Your Life

Posted on by marisavictus

The Beauty of Fall: How to Hygge & Savor Your Life

A Reminder to Soften, Rest, and Recover

So often, in the rush to excel and achieve our goals, we push and strive and grind. We think that our lives need to be “perfect,” highly structured, precise, accurate, and regimented to be successful.

When that happens, think of the seasons. Think about their willingness to let go.

Think about their openness to change.

Fall is beautiful because it reminds me to soften.

As the trees let go of their foliage and the leaves fall and crunch beneath my feet, I am reminded that, like nature, I, too, am allowed to soften.

I, too, am allowed to let go of what no longer serves me.

I, too, am allowed to go within myself, to hibernate, rest, and return rejuvenated, come spring.

I, too, am allowed to give myself the gift of time, to give myself precisely what I need.

Welcome fall into your Mindfulness Practice

As the leaves begin to change color, take the time to slow down and truly see them transitioning from green to red to orange to yellow to brown.

Allow nature to usher in its resplendent beauty, and accept it, graciously, into our lives.

Faaallllll!

Sigh it out, like a deep, unending breath; marvel at all its fun and festive delights; and savor its deliciousness.

It’s a feast. It’s the season of pumpkin lattes, persimmons, wreaths adorned with acorns and pinecones, and that gorgeous scent of cinnamon and clove.

We bring out our plush throws and zip ourselves in the softest down-filled vests and fur-lined boots. Plaid skirts and shirts are everywhere, as we run through the corn maze and pose for photos next to an old-school, classic red Chevy truck.

As we walk across the overlook, the wind whips through our hair, the sun warms our shoulders and, across the vista, the hills are peppered with pumpkins of all sizes. Pumpkins so big grown men can sit on them and youngsters can pile on them in twos and threes.

We amble through the rows, picking pumpkins and gourds. We stir our hot apple cider with a fresh cinnamon stick.

And we go indoors, to enjoy a big bowl of piping hot butternut squash soup, with a creamy dollop of ricotta in the center.

Ahhhhh, yes!

It’s the grandest season to enjoy all things pumpkin. Pumpkin muffins, pumpkin rolls filled with light fluffy creme, pumpkin pies after dinner, and more pumpkin lattes to welcome the meek morning light.

Then, of course, my favorite activity: Trick-or-treating to celebrate Halloween with my kids. We get all dressed up for it. My kiddos in their favorite costumes that change year-after-year. And me — with a lil cat nose, whiskers painted on my face, and a pair of fluffy cat ears — that remind me of when I was a kid, so excited to hand out all of the candies I’d prepared for my friends.

To this day, I love carving pumpkins. I’ve done so many, and can’t wait to share them with you all. They’ve gotten more intricate over time. Morphing from the black cat with its arched back, to Elsa & Olaf one year, to Harry Potter and a Dragon next.

It’s the season for cool crisp nights. Laughing around a roaring fire pit. And the warmth of time spent enjoying the season with family and friends.

Together, we gather that warm energy, like fluffy little squirrels, squirreling away our nuts to be stored and savored over the cold winter months.

All of this reminds me of the warmth we can gather, when we truly savor our lives.

Perhaps the best word to describe it is hygge.

Hygge is the Danish and Norwegian word that captures this cozy, contented mood, that’s all about comfort and conviviality.

But, what I love most about hygge is the idea that we needn’t wait for any particular season to create more hygge in our lives.

We needn’t wait for fall.

Or winter.

Indeed, we must not wait at all.

We must shore up our reserves!

Stock up on the warmth that hygge can give us — any time of of the year.

Let’s remember to hold ourselves in a warm hygge embrace, every day.

Our biology’s wired for it.

It’s why we love to snuggle. It’s why we love to spoon.

It’s wonderful, how it feels…so right.

It’s replenishing.

Soul-nurturing.

It’s the perfect gift to give ourselves any day, any time.

And it’ll sustain us, when the going gets rough.

Join me, this fall.

Make it a fun mindful practice, to meditate on our Earth’s natural ebb and flow.

Each and every time you enjoy some aspect of fall, be deliberate:

Let yourself soften.

Relax…without any guilt.

Don’t postpone your happiness!

Let your mind & body relax.

Allow your senses to bask in the warm, autumn glow.

I know I will.

Whether it’s with my morning pumpkin latte, or my afternoon pumpkin muffin, I’ll be telling myself the most wonderful things, like:

“I take the time to rest, relax and recover.”

“I trust I’ll return, well-rested, rejuvenated, and ready to grow once more.”

What delights will you discover? Let me know. I’d love to hear from you.

The Hygge-filled Fall in me honors & respects the Hygge-filled Fall in each of you,

Marisa

If you would like to hear or see me succeed (or flop 😂) as I practice in public, and you’d love to learn about the science of self-improvement, please Subscribe to my new YouTube Channel and signup for my free Substack Newsletter.

Together, we’ll explore all the ways that we can 10x our life — mind, body, & soul.

We’ll learn the scientific, physiological, and psychological reasons why we are the way that we are, and combine that understanding with simple, active practices that will:

• Enliven our emotions & creativity;

• Enhance our efficiency & productivity;

• Foster a greater depth of Self;

• Build the Secure Attachment that we need to develop a Growth Mindset; and,

• Reprogram our minds to pivot from the Sympathetic Nervous System to the Parasympathetic Nervous System when we need it to, more often than not.

I’ve planned so many exciting & fun things to share with you (in addition to music!) and I can’t wait for you to get all the FREE goodies I’ve prepared for you.

We CAN do this, TOGETHER!

Marisa

 

 

In addition, new Chapters for my serialized science fiction series (THE OBSIDIAN CHRONICLES) are released every weekend on Substack. Substack Subscribers can read the 1st Book in the series for FREE! Just click here to opt-in + receive my Fiction writing!

Attorney, Artist, and Author of THE OBSIDIAN CHRONICLES. Writer who believes in the power of words. Life-long learner who’s passionate about the science and art of self-improvement. 

Join me, as we explore the science and skills behind VICTUS, the path and practice that can silence our inner critic and free us to be our truest, authentic self. 

Want to Live a Happier Life, Filled with Synergy, Flow, and Freedom in Everything You Do? 

Then Sign-Up for The VICTUS Method Newsletter @ my Contact Page.