Month: January 2026

Who’s the real victim, when your Deprivation Curiosity kills your Interest Curiosity?

In my STUDY, SAVOR, & SUPPORT Each Other CHAT☕️🍵, we’re doing a deep-dive into our Book Club selection! This week is Chapter 6 of BEYOND ANXIETY: Curiosity, Creativity, and Finding Your Life’s Purpose by Martha Beck.

You’ve probably heard the saying “There’s a thin line between love and hate.”

But…

Did you know there’s a thin line between curiosity and fear?

In Chapter 6: Curiosity: The Secret Doorway, MB describes how we are born as inquisitive, creative babes. When we’re kids, we explore the world and ask questions like mini scientists.

But then we get used to coloring inside the lines.

The structure and culture of our society indoctrinates us to abandon our free-flowing creative impulses.

It’s in the way we are taught to follow the rules; the left-hemisphere-dominant ways in which we are educated; and the way our institutions favor hierarchies and reward competition.

Sadly, for most people, our anxiety ramps up the older (and more socially indoctrinated) we get. Anxiety hampers our sense of safety and dampers or prevents our curiosity. And our interests are relegated to the back-burner or abandoned entirely so we can focus on winning socially, gaining approval, following rules, and getting promotions. Climbing up that ladder until we retire, and we suddenly realize our lives have passed us by.

In other words…

We’re indoctrinated to listen to and address our fears, more than follow our curiosity or creativity.

We think this guarantees we will be “successful,” but as MB hilariously illustrates, coloring inside the lines and doing what’s “expected of us” can fail — miserably:

In the early 2000s, Peter Skillman tested how well different teams would perform as a group on a creative task: to “build a freestanding tower using several sticks of dry spaghetti, one meter of string, one meter of masking tape, and a marshmallow.”

Kindergarteners out-performed adults by a mile. Especially when compared to business school students, who were far “more focused on social anxiety,” like speaking up in the “right” way, to not offend their peers. Following social norms and taking an overly rational approach is what ultimately caused them to fail. Meanwhile, the kindergartners launched themselves into the task, full steam ahead, without worrying about what their peers might think. They allowed their creativity to flow in all its messy glory, all the way to the finish line.

Why the difference? Turns out…

There are two types of curiosity:

• “Interest curiosity comes from a sense of wanting to know, the way children want to know what will happen if they put crayons in the toaster.”
• “Deprivation curiosity is a worried need to know that stems from lacking enough information to feel safe.”

We’re all born with a high level of Interest Curiosity, but our society conditions us to exhibit less and less Interest Curiosity until Deprivation Curiosity becomes the norm or even the default for us.

⭐️ Has that been your experience, growing up?

It certainly has for me. My childhood was filled with ample Interest Curiosity. But the older I got, the more pressure there was to perform academically, the more Deprivation Curiosity began to take hold.

Based on the way our society’s structured, that transition feels inevitable. When there’s pressure to perform and get a good score on anything, our education system focuses our attention on meeting set criteria to be competitive and get the A.

But, it also becomes easier to lose that sense of excitement, creativity, and flow that comes from pure unbridled Interest Curiosity.

Deprivation Curiosity vs. Interest Curiosity

Viewed from this lens, one can clearly see that the adults in the experiment suffered stagnation because of the former, while the kiddos were propelled to success by the latter.

Lesson Learned!

Understanding the difference between the two invites us to be deliberate about the type of curiosity we can choose from moment to moment.

But, BEWARE!

MB points out how insidiously society can dissuade us from our natural inclination to be curious and be deliberate about devoting time to pursuing our creative interests.

To illustrate her point, she tells a wonderful story about how she had her own “Interest Curiosity” maligned in a not-so-subtle way, when she was diagnosed with ADHD and the practitioner said, “It means you have an abnormally interest-based nervous system…. It means you pay more attention to things that interest you than things that don’t.”

Of course, the practitioner offered to help her “overcome [her] learning disability,” for “several thousand dollars.”

It’s true, we do need to be able to focus on what we dislike — pretty much every day — to take out the trash, weed the garden, pay the bills, and function in our society.

But, I agree with MB that…

At a fundamental level, having an “interest-based nervous system” is not problematic. It can be our North Star.

We can work with our minds, bodies, and emotions — instead of struggling against them.

We can choose to use our interest-based nervous system to navigate closer to who we truly are, encourage us to build upon our strengths, and pursue our dreams.

Our interest-based nervous system can show us how to live fulfilling lives.

Indeed, as MB states, her interest-based nervous system “feels like a navigation tool, one that’s always guided me into life situations that feel meaningful….”

I wholeheartedly agree, because it’s the specific interests that we have that makes us special, unique individuals.

What’s more, MB says…

Our interest-based nervous system can be a cure for anxiety.

As she puts it, her “interest-based curiosity is the doorway leading me out of anxiety and into creativity. It has helped me solve countless real problems in practical ways.”

Now, take a Mindful Minute to reflect on your life:

⭐️ For our private Journaling, when you reflect on your life, do you experience a good amount of Interest Curiosity? Where? At work or outside of work?

⭐️ How do the two — Interest Curiosity & Deprivation Curiosity — feel different for you, in your emotions, in your physical body, in your ability to not only learn, but to experience enthusiasm, excitement, and joy?

⭐️ Do you want more Interest Curiosity in your life? Could you do it by exploring something creative?

Are you as ready as I am to leave your

Deprivation Curiosity in the dust?

To embrace your Interest Curiosity,

each and every day?

To live a much healthier & fun life,

full of unbridled joy & creative flow?

👭 If you want to enlist the help of a Fellow Creative, to help you break free…

Our CHAT can be a safe place to tell safe people what you’d like to accomplish, so we can all support & cheer you on.

👭 If you’re comfortable doing so, feel free to tell us what Creative Practice you would like to try whenever one of your Anxiety Spirals starts to spin.

Let’s TRUST in our ability to create safety in ourselves by being the Creatives we are meant to be.

Together, we can support each other on our healing journeys.

Together, we can soothe, nurture, & love the Creative Self inside all of us.

The Interest Curiosity in me honors & respects the Interest Curiosity in each of you,

Marisa

⭐️ Remember, we don’t have to figure everything out, all alone. ⭐️

We can find solutions, together!

Please join us in my

This is a special group for Writers, Artists, & Creatives like us, to have deep conversations about the Books that we choose, so we can implement what we learn, and unearth our truest, most Authentic Selves.

It’s the perfect way to

Share Our Recipes for Happiness:

🔮 Have fun together;

🔮 Share our triumphs;

🔮 Vent from time to time — we’re human after all!

🔮 Take a lighthearted approach to private journaling & Artist’s Dates; and,

🔮 Grow the CREATIVE GENIUS inside all of us! 💐🌺🌷🌸🌹🌻🌼

Share Our Work (allow our True Self to be Seen):

🚀 With Notes Boost Challenges (NBC), we can share our favorite Notes of the week.

🚀 And, when we’d like, we can share our Works In Progress (WIP) and/or Final Posts, Music, & Art…whatever we’re proud of!

🚀 So we can Like, Comment, and/or Restack each others’ work to…

Share Our Joy (experience Connection with a kind & supportive Creative Community):

🙌 This is how we can come together, to grow through our own individual efforts, and feel the support of a kind & supportive Creative Community, too.

🤗 If that sounds good to you, then join us & say hello!

Join Marisa Victus’s subscriber chat

Available in the Substack app and on web

Join chat

Come join us in the STUDY, SAVOR, & SUPPORT Each Other CHAT! ☕️🍵 !

Looking for a regular place to help boost each other’s Notes & Posts every week?

I host Notes Boost Challenges (NBC) every Friday in my STUDY, SAVOR, & SUPPORT Each Other CHAT.

Feel free to share your latest Note or Post of the week, so we can Like/Comment/Restack yours & you can do the same for others, so we can all GROW!

Pull up a seat & come to our comfy & cozy Creative CHAT! Here’s to the Creative CHAT for me & you! 🎉📚🥳📚🎉

Subscribe if you want to see where this Creative Journey can take us!

Share

Leave a comment

BONUS — Did you know that all SUBSCRIBERS can read the 1st Book of THE OBSIDIAN CHRONICLES (OBSIDIAN: Birth to Venus) for FREE?

READ THE SYNOPSIS

Subscribe now

Together, we’ll explore all the ways that we can 10x our life — mind, body, & soul.

We’ll learn the scientific, physiological, and psychological reasons why we are the way that we are. And…

We’ll combine that understanding with simple, active practices that will supercharge our self-improvement & give us unstoppable self-belief!

When you SUBSCRIBE TO MY SUBSTACK, you’ll gain access to these 2 resources:

(1) Every week, you’ll get my free Non-Fiction Newsletter on Substack, entitled Marisa VICTUS: Science of Synergy & Self; and,

(2) Every day, you’ll be able to entrain your brain — the quick & easy way — with my daily Mindset & Meditation (M&M) practice.

I’m building my own Mindset & Meditation (M&M) Community, so we can all invest in our truest, most Authentic Self.

🌸 Every day, I write ✍️1 handwritten✍️ M&M (Mindset & Meditation) Note.🌸

🧘🏻‍♀️If you want to grow with me, repeat these daily affirmations like I am.🧘🏻‍♀️

🙌Let’s entrain our brains to adopt these empowering beliefs.🙌

Plus, if you’d like to see me succeed (or flop 😂) as I practice in public,

(3) SUBSCRIBE to my free YouTube Channel!

Who wins, when the Left and Right Hemispheres of our brain duke it out?

In my STUDY, SAVOR, & SUPPORT Each Other CHAT☕️🍵, we’re doing a deep-dive into our Book Club selection! This week is Chapter 5 of BEYOND ANXIETY: Curiosity, Creativity, and Finding Your Life’s Purpose by Martha Beck.

In Chapter 5: Activating Your Creative Side, MB takes us on her own Wild Toad Ride, filled to the brim with creativity. She decides to take an entire month to paint and ends up painting non-stop, to hilarious (and envy-inducing) effect.

⭐️ Wouldn’t you just love to take an entire month to focus on just your Creativity?

Sounds like luxury, right?

No wonder. We all know what it feels like to deny ourselves the time to be creative because we have “better” (often more left-brained) things to do, like MB did all those years focusing on her studies at school and work.

I saw myself in her.

In her years of suffering because she believed she had to do the sensible thing and meet expectations all of the time. I, too, have lived my life this way. And felt the immense joy when I finally carved time out of my schedule to dedicate myself to my Creativity, most of all when I started to write my creative writing series, THE OBSIDIAN CHRONICLES, and published Obsidian: Birth to Venus.

I’m finally going to publish the 2nd book soon. It’s taken me a while, so my inner Toad’s eager and excited to get it done!

💌 Send me a Direct Message if you want a FREE Advance Reader Copy of Book 2, ’cause I’m putting together a Launch Team now.

⭐️ What’s your Wild Toad’s Ride? Have you let yourself loose before?

⭐️ Or, are your days still dreary with endless, uncreative To Do’s?

What I love most about this Chapter is the realization that we are all “Creatively starved.”

It’s not something unique to me or to you. All of us are deprived — through our societal conditioning — of the ability to spend time creating, without feeling some level of guilt.

Like creativity is somehow less-than the “real work” we do to pay the bills.

As if spending time honoring our creativity is a “waste of time.”

When, in reality, creativity can be our Saving Grace.

In a world full of stress and strain and struggle, our creativity can activate the Right hemispheres of our brain, switching our Anxiety off.

As MB states, “Creativity is the opposite of anxiety.”

Literally. At the physiological level of the brain.

Like the Left hemisphere of our brain that tends to enter Anxiety Spirals when the left amygdala’s triggered, the Right hemisphere of our brain has the capacity to enter Creativity Spirals when the right amygdala’s triggered, too.

The best part?

It doesn’t need much to turn our Creativity Spiral on.

We don’t have to experience some magic strike of Creative Gold.

We needn’t write some magnum opus, compose a symphony, or craft a masterpiece in our minds to get the Creativity Spiral going.

Nope.

All we need is a small amount of curiosity to get our Creative juices flowing.

The ball’s not that hard to roll.

But the conditions do have to be right, for us to go on a Creative Journey or to learn anything.

As MB states, according to one view of the brain developed by education, our nervous systems are always asking three questions, in this order:

1) Am I safe?

2) Am I loved?

3) What can I learn?

Learning happens only when we can answer the first two questions with a “yes.”

No wonder she preceded this Chapter 5 with Chapter 4’s invitation for us to try Dr. Richard Schwartz’s IFS therapy.

If our Managers and Firefighters have run amok, 1 and 2 are likely a “no.”

Our Managers often scare our frightened Anxiety Creatures even more, or make us too disciplined and too rigid to create.

Likewise, our Firefighters’ usually maladaptive efforts to keep us safe don’t work. At least not in the long run. On some level, we know — deep down — that we aren’t at ease so, of course, we don’t feel safe.

And, it goes without saying, when you have Exiles, you don’t feel loved. You feel so unloved that you literally ostracize parts of who you are. You keep Exiles separate from the rest of yourself.

We can gain a greater sense of wholeness if we work to unify our separate IFS parts.

But, that isn’t the only way…

Diving Straight into Our Creativity Works & Has Extra Benefits.

Thinking has its place. But words have a downside too:

As we learned in Chapter 1 and Chapter 2, the Left hemisphere can “show us only half the world [because it is] unable to see or acknowledge anything but its own perceptions….”

In contrast, MB says, the Right hemisphere sees everything: “It’s aware of all our perceptions, not only creative ideas but also the logical, analytical thinking that happens mainly in the left side of the brain.”

Let’s Put It to the Creative Test

MB invites us to think of an issue we’re facing, something that would normally cause us anxiety.

Then take out a piece of paper. Write our name, as we usually do, from left to right.

But instead of using our words to journal all the pros and cons using our Left hemisphere, we can activate the Right hemisphere of our brain by writing our name again — but, this time, write its mirror image horizontally.

And, if we really want to get fancy, we can write the entirety of that upside down, as if the whole thing’s being reflected vertically, in a mirror.

I tried it.

My Conclusion? The Creativity Spiral’s better.

When stressful thoughts entice me to engage in rumination or an hour-long CBT session, I can save myself the mental and emotional bandwidth, by just writing my name, a word, a picture. Even a scribble or doodle works.

It creates that space — however brief — between the anxiety-inducing stimulus (whatever F.E.A.R. that’s facing me) and my response.

After doing this a few times throughout the week, I notice my first response isn’t my go-to, knee-jerk, reaction to launch into my standard left-brained, wordy analysis anymore.

The Creative act gives me a momentary respite from my tendency to analyze, argue, solve, and make sense of absolutely any thought that passes through my mental landscape.

Instead, I can simply take a few moments to be. To create. To exist in the here and now — without the story.

The way I used to when I was a carefree kid.

It doesn’t last forever. But, could it?

MB goes so far as to say…

“Your whole life can be a happy childhood.”

Sounds hard to believe, but I know I’d love to live like that.

Now, take a Mindful Minute to reflect on your life:

⭐️ For our private Journaling, give the Creative Test above a try.

⭐️ Did it work like magic for you, too?

Are you as ready as I am to leave the F.E.A.R. Zone, and let our Creativity Spiral spin us free,

to live a much healthier & fun life,

full of childlike joy & creative flow?

👭 If you want to enlist the help of a Fellow Creative, to help you break free of anxiety by entering your own Creative Flow…

Our CHAT can be a safe place to tell safe people what you’d like to accomplish, so we can all support & cheer you on.

👭 If you’re comfortable doing so, feel free to tell us what Creative Practice you would like to try whenever one of your Anxiety Spirals starts to spin.

Let’s TRUST in our ability to create safety in ourselves by being the Creatives we are meant to be.

Together, we can support each other on our healing journeys.

Together, we can soothe, nurture, & love the Creative Self inside all of us.

The Happy, Creative Child in me honors & respects the Happy, Creative Child in each of you,

Marisa

⭐️ Remember, we don’t have to figure everything out, all alone. ⭐️

We can find solutions, together!

Please join us in my

This is a special group for Writers, Artists, & Creatives like us, to have deep conversations about the Books that we choose, so we can implement what we learn, and unearth our truest, most Authentic Selves.

It’s the perfect way to

Share Our Recipes for Happiness:

🔮 Have fun together;

🔮 Share our triumphs;

🔮 Vent from time to time — we’re human after all!

🔮 Take a lighthearted approach to private journaling & Artist’s Dates; and,

🔮 Grow the CREATIVE GENIUS inside all of us! 💐🌺🌷🌸🌹🌻🌼

Share Our Work (allow our True Self to be Seen):

🚀 With Notes Boost Challenges (NBC), we can share our favorite Notes of the week.

🚀 And, when we’d like, we can share our Works In Progress (WIP) and/or Final Posts, Music, & Art…whatever we’re proud of!

🚀 So we can Like, Comment, and/or Restack each others’ work to…

Share Our Joy (experience Connection with a kind & supportive Creative Community):

🙌 This is how we can come together, to grow through our own individual efforts, and feel the support of a kind & supportive Creative Community, too.

🤗 If that sounds good to you, then join us & say hello!

Join Marisa Victus’s subscriber chat

Available in the Substack app and on web

Join chat

Come join us in the STUDY, SAVOR, & SUPPORT Each Other CHAT! ☕️🍵 !

Looking for a regular place to help boost each other’s Notes & Posts every week?

I host Notes Boost Challenges (NBC) every Friday in my STUDY, SAVOR, & SUPPORT Each Other CHAT.

Feel free to share your latest Note or Post of the week, so we can Like/Comment/Restack yours & you can do the same for others, so we can all GROW!

Pull up a seat & come to our comfy & cozy Creative CHAT! Here’s to the Creative CHAT for me & you! 🎉📚🥳📚🎉

Subscribe if you want to see where this Creative Journey can take us!

Share

Leave a comment

BONUS — Did you know that all SUBSCRIBERS can read the 1st Book of THE OBSIDIAN CHRONICLES (OBSIDIAN: Birth to Venus) for FREE?

READ THE SYNOPSIS

Together, we’ll explore all the ways that we can 10x our life — mind, body, & soul.

We’ll learn the scientific, physiological, and psychological reasons why we are the way that we are. And…

We’ll combine that understanding with simple, active practices that will supercharge our self-improvement & give us unstoppable self-belief!

When you SUBSCRIBE TO MY SUBSTACK, you’ll gain access to these 2 resources:

(1) Every week, you’ll get my free Non-Fiction Newsletter on Substack, entitled Marisa VICTUS: Science of Synergy & Self; and,

(2) Every day, you’ll be able to entrain your brain — the quick & easy way — with my daily Mindset & Meditation (M&M) practice.

I’m building my own Mindset & Meditation (M&M) Community, so we can all invest in our truest, most Authentic Self.

🌸 Every day, I write ✍️1 handwritten✍️ M&M (Mindset & Meditation) Note.🌸

🧘🏻‍♀️If you want to grow with me, repeat these daily affirmations like I am.🧘🏻‍♀️

🙌Let’s entrain our brains to adopt these empowering beliefs.🙌

Plus, if you’d like to see me succeed (or flop 😂) as I practice in public,

(3) SUBSCRIBE to my free YouTube Channel!

We are not 1 Self, but many. Are you ready to feel peace, to experience life as a Unified Whole?

In my STUDY, SAVOR, & SUPPORT Each Other CHAT☕️🍵, we’re doing a deep-dive into our Book Club selection! This week is Chapter 4 of BEYOND ANXIETY: Curiosity, Creativity, and Finding Your Life’s Purpose by Martha Beck.

In Chapter 4: The Creature, United, I loved learning about the multitude of “Yous” inside of us.

And, thankfully, how normal it is for the different parts of us to be at odds with each other most, if not all, of the time.

As usual, MB made me laugh at her anxious “if I do,” anxious “if I don’t” self. I’m all too familiar with that whiplash.

Lucky for us, there is a pathway to freedom:

MB invites us to integrate all the various parts of ourselves using parts psychology — specifically the “Internal Family Systems” model of therapy created by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s.

In IFS, we can understand our psyche as a resourceful conglomeration of distinct identities inside of us that can be divided into 3 categories:

• Exiles,
• Managers, and
• Firefighters.

Exiles are the “pain containers” that our psyche’s banished, to protect us from being overwhelmed by our psychological pain. Often, Exiles resemble our younger self, or selves, that are frozen in time, stuck at the ages when we experienced pronounced emotional pain or trauma in our lives.

Managers keep us on track by being virtuous, telling us to be good boys and girls, to obey cultural rules. To work hard, be kind, and do what society expects of us.

Firefighters care most about stopping our Exiles from experiencing pain, even if it’s accomplished with maladaptive means, like avoidance, distraction, addiction, and tantrums. Firefighters do whatever they can to give our Exiles a momentary semblance of peace. No matter how temporary that band-aid might be. No matter how much it might derail our lives in the long run.

Ultimately, our Managers and Firefighters are stuck in Anxiety Spirals that keep our Exiles in hiding. Which prevents us from being able to give our Exiles the comfort they need, so we can reintegrate them and experience peace as a unified whole.

What’s so great about IFS Therapy?

I see IFS as a promising methodology for understanding ourselves because it does not pathologize our often competing internal interests.

The solution isn’t to malign our Managers or Firefighters that only want to keep us safe.

Instead, we can get curious. We can ask our Managers and Firefighters to step aside, so we can get to know our Exiles, and find ways to show all our parts the compassion, understanding, and empathy they need to feel safe, freeing us to live a happy, healthy, and successful life.

Now, take a Mindful Minute to reflect on your life:

⭐️ What are your thoughts about the IFS approach?

• I’d heard of IFS in the past, but I’d never tried it before.

⭐️ For our Journaling this week, do you want to give IFS a try?

• I tried it. Journaling IFS is eye opening and also kinda funny to put words to paper in different voices. Thankfully, no one gets to read our private Journaling (unless we want them to)!

⭐️ Can you use one of the Amygdala-Whispering Methods (see the list of AWMs from Ch. 2) to help you feel calmer?

• To regulate my nervous system, and bring me back to a state of calm, I used:
• MB’s AWM (the “Sigh”): my go-to method (meditation)
• MB’s AWM (“Move”) specifically, I chose: Yoga with pranayama breathing.
• Plus, my faves: Dancing & Singing.

Overall, the combination worked wonders and showed me —

Yes, IFS works well, to heal the most anxious, fearful, and protective parts of me.

Are YOU ready to listen to the many Selves inside of you,

to experience peace, as a Unified Whole?

Do you have a “safe place” and/or a “safe person”

who can help you to realize that every part of us

— all of our Managers, Firefighters, and Exiles —

want & need to be soothed, nurtured, & loved?

👭 If you want to enlist the help of a Fellow Creative, to be a safe person to help you…

Our CHAT can be a safe place to tell us what you’d like to accomplish, so we can all support & cheer you on.

👭 If you’re comfortable doing so, feel free to tell us what surfaces, what worked, what didn’t, what you’d recommend and, maybe, what you don’t want to try again.

Let’s TRUST in our ability to create safe places & be safe people.

Together, we can support each other on our healing journeys.

Together, we can sooth, nurture, & love every Self inside of us.

The Whole Self in me honors & respects the Whole Self in each of you,

Marisa

⭐️ Remember, we don’t have to figure everything out, all alone. ⭐️

We can find solutions, together!

Please join us in my

This is a special group for Writers, Artists, & Creatives like us, to have deep conversations about the Books that we choose, so we can implement what we learn, and unearth our truest, most Authentic Selves.

It’s the perfect way to

Share Our Recipes for Happiness:

🔮 Have fun together;

🔮 Share our triumphs;

🔮 Vent from time to time — we’re human after all!

🔮 Take a lighthearted approach to private journaling & Artist’s Dates; and,

🔮 Grow the CREATIVE GENIUS inside all of us! 💐🌺🌷🌸🌹🌻🌼

Share Our Work (allow our True Self to be Seen):

🚀 With Notes Boost Challenges (NBC), we can share our favorite Notes of the week.

🚀 And, when we’d like, we can share our Works In Progress (WIP) and/or Final Posts, Music, & Art…whatever we’re proud of!

🚀 So we can Like, Comment, and/or Restack each others’ work to…

Share Our Joy (experience Connection with a kind & supportive Creative Community):

🙌 This is how we can come together, to grow through our own individual efforts, and feel the support of a kind & supportive Creative Community, too.

🤗 If that sounds good to you, then join us & say hello!

Join Marisa Victus’s subscriber chat

Available in the Substack app and on web

Join chat

Come join us in the STUDY, SAVOR, & SUPPORT Each Other CHAT! ☕️🍵 !

Looking for a regular place to help boost each other’s Notes & Posts every week?

I host Notes Boost Challenges (NBC) every Friday in my STUDY, SAVOR, & SUPPORT Each Other CHAT.

Feel free to share your latest Note or Post of the week, so we can Like/Comment/Restack yours & you can do the same for others, so we can all GROW!

Pull up a seat & come to our comfy & cozy Creative CHAT! Here’s to the Creative CHAT for me & you! 🎉📚🥳📚🎉

Subscribe if you want to see where this Creative Journey can take us!

Share

Leave a comment

BONUS — Did you know that all SUBSCRIBERS can read the 1st Book of THE OBSIDIAN CHRONICLES (OBSIDIAN: Birth to Venus) for FREE?

READ THE SYNOPSIS

Subscribe now

Together, we’ll explore all the ways that we can 10x our life — mind, body, & soul.

We’ll learn the scientific, physiological, and psychological reasons why we are the way that we are. And…

We’ll combine that understanding with simple, active practices that will supercharge our self-improvement & give us unstoppable self-belief!

When you SUBSCRIBE TO MY SUBSTACK, you’ll gain access to these 2 resources:

(1) Every week, you’ll get my free Non-Fiction Newsletter on Substack, entitled Marisa VICTUS: Science of Synergy & Self; and,

(2) Every day, you’ll be able to entrain your brain — the quick & easy way — with my daily Mindset & Meditation (M&M) practice.

I’m building my own Mindset & Meditation (M&M) Community, so we can all invest in our truest, most Authentic Self.

🌸 Every day, I write ✍️1 handwritten✍️ M&M (Mindset & Meditation) Note.🌸

🧘🏻‍♀️If you want to grow with me, repeat these daily affirmations like I am.🧘🏻‍♀️

🙌Let’s entrain our brains to adopt these empowering beliefs.🙌

Plus, if you’d like to see me succeed (or flop 😂) as I practice in public,

(3) SUBSCRIBE to my free YouTube Channel!

The 5 F’s are NOT our BFFs. They’re our Frenemies. But, how can we break up with them?

In my STUDY, SAVOR, & SUPPORT Each Other CHAT☕️🍵, we’re doing a deep-dive into our Book Club selection! This week is Chapter 3 of BEYOND ANXIETY: Curiosity, Creativity, and Finding Your Life’s Purpose by Martha Beck.

In Chapter 3: When Anxiety Creatures Get Stuck, we learn about the Defense Cascade:

The 5 Fs

1. Fight
2. Flight
3. Freeze
4. Fawn
5. Flop

These 5 often knee-jerk responses might’ve served our survival in our evolutionary history, but they now fail to serve our best interests.

How Familiar Are the 5 Fs to YOU?

I’d heard of the first 4 before, but “Flop” was new to me. The idea of just doing nothing. Laying on the couch. Avoiding tasks altogether. Giving up early or before you even start. Not trying as an (ineffective) safety mechanism. I considered them all different forms of avoidance, but I love knowing that they’re good examples of “flop.” The term’s a quick mental reminder that inaction can be a stress response, too.

Meanwhile, “Fawn” reminds me of the common scenario when we suddenly morph into a proverbial “doormat,” saying yes when we really want to say no, and doing whatever people ask of us when, really, we’d rather impale our eyes with a hot poker. Just so we don’t “hurt anyone’s feelings.”

Some people spend their entire life learning how to get rid of unhelpful patterns of behavior like that.

Seeing MB describe many different examples creates some distance, helping us to see how Defense Cascades don’t serve us — despite the false stories our Anxiety Spirals might be telling us.

The 5 F’s Are NOT our BFFs. Most of the time, they’re our Frenemies.

Defense Cascades can take over in unhelpful situations — situations where we need to show up for ourselves and others — when we’re on the job, dating, and/or navigating relationships with our friends and family.

But, when the Defense Cascades take over, it prevents us from handling life’s challenges.

Worse, our Defense Cascades can turn into full-blown Anxiety Spirals, where the left hemisphere of our brain tells us a story to justify our unhelpful behavior (the Defense Cascade itself).

As we learned in Ch. 2, the Anxiety Spiral tells us a false story that frightens our amygdala even more, and the left hemisphere of our brain not only weaves this story with “logic” that sounds true, but also fails to acknowledge facts that can disprove the false story.

As MB puts it, our left-hemisphere loves to “fight” both real and imagined threats in these two ways: “(1) [coming] up with explanations that justify our feeling of fear, and (2) [figuring] out ways we might take control of the situation.”

Overall, the Anxiety Spiral makes it more likely that we’ll fall into the same unhelpful pattern (the same Defense Cascade) in the future.

How can we break up & back away from our Frenemies?

We can “decode” our false stories in a “safe place” with “safe people,” whether that’s with a therapist or with our own introspective practice, like Journaling with our Highest Self.

Take a Mindful Minute to reflect on your life:

⭐️ For our private Journaling, let’s describe a Defense Cascade of our own. Describe one scenario that’s been troubling you.

⭐️ What’s your typical response: fight-flight-freeze-fawn-or-flop?

⭐️ What’s the story that your Anxiety Spiral tells you, to “make sense” of your Defense Cascade?

⭐️ Is that story accurate? Is it true? Or could it be false?

⭐️ If you continue to believe in that story, are you more or less likely to exhibit the same Anxiety Spiral in the future?

Do you want to abandon your Defense Cascade?

Do you have a “safe place” and/or a “safe person” who can help you to decode your triggers, and /or to release your unconscious dependence on a Defense Cascade?

👭 If you want to enlist the help of a Fellow Creative, to be a safe person to help you…

Our CHAT can be a safe place to tell us what you’d like to accomplish, so we can all support & cheer you on.

Let’s TRUST in our ability to create safe places & be safe people.

Together, we can support each other in our healing journeys.

Together, we can abandon our unhelpful Defense Cascades & avoid Anxiety Spirals.

The Safety in me honors & respects the Safety in each of you,

Marisa

⭐️ Remember, we don’t have to figure everything out, all alone. ⭐️

We can find solutions, together!

Please join us in my

This is a special group for Writers, Artists, & Creatives like us, to have deep conversations about the Books that we choose, so we can implement what we learn, and unearth our truest, most Authentic Selves.

It’s the perfect way to

Share Our Recipes for Happiness:

🔮 Have fun together;

🔮 Share our triumphs;

🔮 Vent from time to time — we’re human after all!

🔮 Take a lighthearted approach to private journaling & Artist’s Dates; and,

🔮 Grow the CREATIVE GENIUS inside all of us! 💐🌺🌷🌸🌹🌻🌼

Share Our Work (allow our True Self to be Seen):

🚀 With Notes Boost Challenges (NBC), we can share our favorite Notes of the week.

🚀 And, when we’d like, we can share our Works In Progress (WIP) and/or Final Posts, Music, & Art…whatever we’re proud of!

🚀 So we can Like, Comment, and/or Restack each others’ work to…

Share Our Joy (experience Connection with a kind & supportive Creative Community):

🙌 This is how we can come together, to grow through our own individual efforts, and feel the support of a kind & supportive Creative Community, too.

🤗 If that sounds good to you, then join us & say hello!

Join Marisa Victus’s subscriber chat

Available in the Substack app and on web

Join chat

Come join us in the STUDY, SAVOR, & SUPPORT Each Other CHAT! ☕️🍵 !

Looking for a regular place to help boost each other’s Notes & Posts every week?

I host Notes Boost Challenges (NBC) every Friday in my STUDY, SAVOR, & SUPPORT Each Other CHAT.

Feel free to share your latest Note or Post of the week, so we can Like/Comment/Restack yours & you can do the same for others, so we can all GROW!

Pull up a seat & come to our comfy & cozy Creative CHAT! Here’s to the Creative CHAT for me & you! 🎉📚🥳📚🎉

Subscribe if you want to see where this Creative Journey can take us!

Share

Leave a comment

BONUS — Did you know that all SUBSCRIBERS can read the 1st Book of THE OBSIDIAN CHRONICLES (OBSIDIAN: Birth to Venus) for FREE?

READ THE SYNOPSIS

Subscribe now

Together, we’ll explore all the ways that we can 10x our life — mind, body, & soul.

We’ll learn the scientific, physiological, and psychological reasons why we are the way that we are. And…

We’ll combine that understanding with simple, active practices that will supercharge our self-improvement & give us unstoppable self-belief!

When you SUBSCRIBE TO MY SUBSTACK, you’ll gain access to these 2 resources:

(1) Every week, you’ll get my free Non-Fiction Newsletter on Substack, entitled Marisa VICTUS: Science of Synergy & Self; and,

(2) Every day, you’ll be able to entrain your brain — the quick & easy way — with my daily Mindset & Meditation (M&M) practice.

I’m building my own Mindset & Meditation (M&M) Community, so we can all invest in our truest, most Authentic Self.

🌸 Every day, I write ✍️1 handwritten✍️ M&M (Mindset & Meditation) Note.🌸

🧘🏻‍♀️If you want to grow with me, repeat these daily affirmations like I am.🧘🏻‍♀️

🙌Let’s entrain our brains to adopt these empowering beliefs.🙌

Plus, if you’d like to see me succeed (or flop 😂) as I practice in public,

(3) SUBSCRIBE to my free YouTube Channel!

I drew our inner Creature & made a Coloring Page, just for YOU!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Let’s go, 2026!

On Monday, we’ll be in our STUDY, SAVOR, & SUPPORT Each Other CHAT ☕️🍵 , so we can jump back into the deep dive of our Book Club selection — BEYOND ANXIETY: Curiosity, Creativity, and Finding Your Life’s Purpose by Martha Beck.

⭐️ In the meantime, let’s share our New Year’s Resolutions for 2026!

⭐️ What are you looking forward to?

🥳 For 2026, I’ll be…

Leaning into my VICTUS Method to THINK-DO-&-BE my way to becoming the Creative I choose to be on this amazing Attorney-to-Creative Journey I’m on.

That means I’ll be dedicating more of my time and attention to creating everything I LOVE:

♥️ creative writing,

♥️ books,

♥️ art,

♥️ music, &

♥️ singing!

For a long time, I’ve wanted to QUIT what no longer serves me. It’s why I wrote this poem, urging us to QUIT what’s wrong for us, to reclaim our POWER and be AUTHENTICALLY YOU!

It’s important for me to do this in a way that’s healthy & balanced.

That’s why my goal for 2026 is to focus more on my intuition.

To slow down enough to go inward.

To make choices that are in alignment with who I am & who I aspire to become as a Creative.

⭐️ Now, take a Mindful Minute to reflect on your life:

Are you headed in the same or different direction?

What do you hope to accomplish? Personally? Professionally? Creatively?

How can you accomplish your goals in a healthy & balanced way?

🥳 No matter what we choose, let’s remember we don’t have to do it alone.

We’re all on the same journey: Life.

And life needn’t be full of non-stop struggle, stress, or anxiety.

Instead, I’m looking forward to applying the lessons we’re learning in Martha Beck’s book to…

Calm our frightened inner Creatures, using our magical Creative abilities.

Most importantly, our ability to

🔮 Love, 🔮 Soothe, & 🔮 Nurture

ourselves & each other.

🎨 In that spirit, I drew our inner Creature & made this Coloring Page, just for you! 🖌️

Please feel free to print it out & color it in, to ring in the New Year, and decorate it with any other words you wish to write in, to guide & empower you in 2026 & beyond!

I hope you enjoy this fun & artsy gift, and I wish you peace, comfort, & creativity, as we continue our Creative journey together.

Hope you all have a very Happy & Healthy 2026!

The Creative Creature in me honors & respects the Creative Creature in each of you,

Marisa

⭐️ Remember, we don’t have to figure everything out, all alone. ⭐️

We can find solutions, together!

Please join us in my

This is a special group for Writers, Artists, & Creatives like us, to have deep conversations about the Books that we choose, so we can implement what we learn, and unearth our truest, most Authentic Selves.

Right now, we’re doing a deep dive (one chapter per week) on BEYOND ANXIETY: Curiosity, Creativity, and Finding Your Life’s Purpose by Martha Beck.

It’s really opened my eyes to how left-brained dominant I’ve been, and it’s motivated me to lessen my anxiety by activating the right hemisphere of my brain with my creativity. It’s only been a few weeks and I feel much calmer and more centered now.

Hope you’ll join us in the CHAT. It’s a warm and welcoming group!

It’s the perfect way to

Share Our Recipes for Happiness:

🔮 Have fun together;

🔮 Share our triumphs;

🔮 Vent from time to time — we’re human after all!

🔮 Take a lighthearted approach to private journaling & Artist’s Dates; and,

🔮 Grow the CREATIVE GENIUS inside all of us! 💐🌺🌷🌸🌹🌻🌼

Share Our Work (allow our True Self to be Seen):

🚀 With Notes Boost Challenges (NBC), we can share our favorite Notes of the week.

🚀 And, when we’d like, we can share our Works In Progress (WIP) and/or Final Posts, Music, & Art…whatever we’re proud of!

🚀 So we can Like, Comment, and/or Restack each others’ work to…

Share Our Joy (experience Connection with a kind & supportive Creative Community):

🙌 This is how we can come together, to grow through our own individual efforts, and feel the support of a kind & supportive Creative Community, too.

🤗 If that sounds good to you, then join us & say hello!

Join Marisa Victus’s subscriber chat

Available in the Substack app and on web

Come join us in the STUDY, SAVOR, & SUPPORT Each Other CHAT! ☕️🍵 !

Looking for a regular place to help boost each other’s Notes & Posts every week?

I host Notes Boost Challenges (NBC) every Friday in my STUDY, SAVOR, & SUPPORT Each Other CHAT.

Feel free to share your latest Note or Post of the week, so we can Like/Comment/Restack yours & you can do the same for others, so we can all GROW!

Pull up a seat & come to our comfy & cozy Creative CHAT! Here’s to the Creative CHAT for me & you! 🎉📚🥳📚🎉

Subscribe if you want to see where this Creative Journey can take us!

BONUS — Did you know that all SUBSCRIBERS can read the 1st Book of THE OBSIDIAN CHRONICLES (OBSIDIAN: Birth to Venus) for FREE?

READ THE SYNOPSIS

Together, we’ll explore all the ways that we can 10x our life — mind, body, & soul.

We’ll learn the scientific, physiological, and psychological reasons why we are the way that we are. And…

We’ll combine that understanding with simple, active practices that will supercharge our self-improvement & give us unstoppable self-belief!

When you SUBSCRIBE TO MY SUBSTACK, you’ll gain access to these 2 resources:

(1) Every week, you’ll get my free Non-Fiction Newsletter on Substack, entitled Marisa VICTUS: Science of Synergy & Self; and,

(2) Every day, you’ll be able to entrain your brain — the quick & easy way — with my daily Mindset & Meditation (M&M) practice.

I’m building my own Mindset & Meditation (M&M) Community, so we can all invest in our truest, most Authentic Self.

🌸 Every day, I write ✍️1 handwritten✍️ M&M (Mindset & Meditation) Note.🌸

🧘🏻‍♀️If you want to grow with me, repeat these daily affirmations like I am.🧘🏻‍♀️

🙌Let’s entrain our brains to adopt these empowering beliefs.🙌

Plus, if you’d like to see me succeed (or flop 😂) as I practice in public,

(3) SUBSCRIBE to my free YouTube Channel!