Month: May 2026

How Thinking “I Know” Keeps Us Trapped

In my STUDY, SAVOR, & SUPPORT Each Other CHAT☕️🍵, we’re doing a deep-dive into our Book Club selection! This week is Chapter 8 of BECOMING AN ARTIST: Reinventing Yourself Through Mindful Creativity by Dr. Ellen J. Langer.

In Chapter 8: The Blindness of Knowing, EL tells us that Gertrude Stein’s wrong when she says “a rose is a rose is a rose.”

To the contrary, EL says, a rose is not a rose is not a rose.

My MINDFUL Conclusion: Generalizations are necessary for us to process our environment, to succeed in our lives, but distinctions matter.

As EL warns, when “[w]e distinguish a rose by observing how it is like the other flowers we call roses, we mindlessly react to it much the same way each time.”

And she cites scientific studies to demonstrate that that apparent “sameness” — that blindness to differences — has real-world consequences.

Like engaging less when getting to know other people. Because we assume other people are pretty much all “the same.”

And, sadly, we can make the same wrong assumption about ourselves, too.

For example…

My MINDLESS Mistake: I mistakenly assumed the best way for me to study piano was to learn it the way most people study it:

The rote memorization of notes.

The mechanical practicing of scales.

Building finger strength and dexterity with drills like Hanon.

And, especially, the focus on traditional Classical music.

Like the saying goes, “A rose is a rose is a rose.”

I assumed I am like all other roses.

So I did all of the above.

Problem was: my Classically-minded piano teacher only chose pieces SHE wanted to play.

She never ventured to discover what kind of music intrigued me as her student: music I could sing to, musical scores in films, pop music, even some blues or jazz.

This may not have deterred other kids.

But, it deterred me.

As a child, I held onto this False Evidence Appearing Real (F.E.A.R.), that there were no other acceptable ways to study piano.

In my naïveté, I simply accepted, “This is the way it is.”

As if there were no other Ways of Being.

And, yet, I knew that other options existed. I’d go to the music store and buy musical scores for Disney’s Beauty & the Beast. Or buy songbooks for Sarah McLachlan or Jewel or Fiona Apple.

I even put myself out there and asked my piano teacher if I could choose one of these works to practice next.

She allowed me to. But then never asked if I wanted to choose another one.

She saw the excitement in my eyes, my eagerness to try this popular style of piano, and met it with a luke-warm reaction that felt, not quite like disappointment, but a subtle judgment that wilted me nonetheless.

Now, I Lament What Could Have Been

How different my piano practice could have been, had I been encouraged to play pop songs or even the majestic musical scores that are used as the thematic backdrops for cinematically-enlivening Video Games like Final Fantasy!

(By the way, I am not a gamer. I’ve never even played games like that. But, if you’re familiar with these highly-immersive games, you know: the scores used to accompany their storylines are amazing!)

They’re imbued with a sense of magic, discovery, longing, and love. You don’t have to play these games to hear and feel the adventure embodied in their music.

Now, it saddens me to realize, looking back, that my piano teacher never saw me as a student who only needed a spark of inspiration to keep going.

She never asked what kind of music might excite me.

And, though her eyes were open and able to see what did enliven my musicianship, she did not welcome it into my usual repertoire.

And, though I was young, I sensed that.

Not as an overt rejection. She never said anything that was out-right mean.

But, it hurt nonetheless.

Because it gave me the sense that I lacked agency. That I merely played the role of a lower-case “student.”

She was the upper-case “Teacher,” and she determined not only the instruction, but the entire content.

To the point that my participation as an individual hardly mattered.

This is how I can understand and articulate it now, as an adult, looking back.

But, back then, as a child, it’s not how I saw it. I was used to going along with what the adults in my life directed me to do.

So, again, I thought, “This is just the way it is,” and I asked my mom if I could quit.

It wasn’t the first time I had asked to quit.

This time, she finally let me.

Sadly, there was no conversation to determine why I wanted to quit.

There was no further inquiry, to determine how I might want to keep studying piano.

In that regard, I don’t blame my mother for that. She’s not a musician. She doesn’t play the piano or any other instrument.

She didn’t know the conflict I was feeling inside.

But, was she interested in exploring what I wanted?

Because of the way I was raised, I was used to the idea that what sparked my Creativity could never be my career.

So, I “knew” I would never be a professional musician.

Singing pop songs like Taylor Swift was never presented as a potential future for me.

Even though I had performed and sung with a band before. Even though I was praised for it.

I always knew (because I was led to believe), that music could never be the focal point of any career for me.

So, when I was faced with a piano teacher like I had, and I felt music could never be an acceptable path in my future, I slipped into a sort of learned helplessness.

I gave up.

Now is the time to correct that wrong.

Now that I am older and wiser, and I’ve studied books like those we’ve selected for my STUDY, SAVOR, & SUPPORT Each Other CHAT☕️🍵, I’ve incorporated them into the THINK portion of my VICTUS Method, to Think-Do-&-Be my way to who I’m meant to be.

I’ve learned to study & savor:

• Julia Cameron’s endlessly-motivating belief in our capacity to embrace and honor our Creative Self in her book, THE ARTIST’S WAY: Recovering a Sense of Autonomy.
• Dr. Martha Beck’s unapologetic argument in her book — BEYOND ANXIETY: Curiosity, Creativity, and Finding Your Life’s Purpose — that a part of us dies when we sacrifice the truth of who we are, to adhere to society’s “Roles Rulebook,” and we deserve to create and live the life we want instead.
• And, Dr. Ellen J. Langer’s warning in this book, ON BECOMING AN ARTIST: Reinventing Yourself Through Mindful Creativity, that there are serious consequences to Mindlessly thinking “we know”; it leads to Mindlessly ignoring the details, especially when it comes to us as individuals, when we learn and adopt generalities that aren’t suited to us.

All of these ways to THINK have one thing in common:

They’ve shown me far Better Ways of Being.

They’re proof that I need to RE-THINK what I thought I knew as a kid.

I needed to do that RE-THINKING, right now.

And, most of all…

It’s time to move onto the next step in the VICTUS Method: DO.

But…

DOING’s The Hardest Part

It’s the most necessary part, too.

Because it’s not enough to THINK and RE-THINK.

Knowing is not the same as Doing.

And, like everyone else, I have to do all 3 — to Think and Do and Be — to become the person I am meant to be, the person I choose to be.

Yes, DOING is the only way we can heal all the broken parts inside of ourselves.

The forgotten parts.

The parts we push away and avoid.

Because it hurts too much to imagine…What if?

Are you like me?

I want more than anything to heal. To be at peace. To forgive.

Especially the tender Inner Child that got used to prioritizing “the way it is” because that’s what other people told me.

Because now I can clearly see that’s NOT “the way it has to be.”

There are other, Better Ways of Being.

Now, take a Mindful Minute, to ask yourself:

⭐️ Are there other, Better Ways of Being that you want to explore?

⭐️ Do YOU have an Inner Child who needs to heal?

⭐️ Are you ready to repeat after me, to proclaim this wholeheartedly?

• ♥️ “I deserve to explore Better Ways of Being.”
• ♥️ “I deserve to be happy.”
• ♥️ “I am ready to champion my Creative Self.”

I hope that you will join me. Because we’re about to get messy.

We’re going to embrace our “Messy Middle.”

We’re going to do “the DO.”

Because we deserve it.

And we deserve to do it in a well-regulated way, too.

Because our Nervous Systems don’t need to be traumatized to grow.

And, stepping into a new Creative YOU can bring up a lot of feelings — like self-doubt, uncertainty about technique, the dreaded Imposter Syndrome, the heinous Inner Critic, and — of course — REGRET!

Regret’s a big one for me. ’Cause I know: if I’d had the benefit of the musical scores I liked, with an enthusiastic teacher for that style, I never would’ve quit piano in the first place!

No matter what we’re feeling…

We Deserve to Honor Our Emotions & Take Better Care of Ourselves

Which is why I’ll be using the power of Music to help us do precisely that.

To entrain our brains to DO our way to the Creative Life we all deserve:

So, get ready:

• Choose a creative activity to pursue alongside me. Not necessarily the same creative practice as I’m choosing. But, the creative practice that YOU choose.
• Together, we will experiment and PLAY.

And, to make it extra fun, I’m going to couple it with something BIG that I’m almost ready to LAUNCH.

So STAY TUNED!

🧠🎨 The Healing Creative in Me 🎨🧠

🧠🎨 honors & respects 🎨🧠

🧠🎨 the Healing Creative in Each of You, 🎨🧠

Marisa

Subscribe now

READ THE SYNOPSIS

If you enjoy reading it, please consider leaving me a rating & review on Amazon & Goodreads! It’s the the easiest way to support Indie Authors like me.

Your kind contribution can be the greatly-appreciated rocket fuel that inspires me to keep living according to My Motto: Vita est pro victus! which means “Life is for Living — Truly Living!” Not as some shell of who we should be. But as our truest, most Authentic Self.

That’s MY MISSION in life: to encourage myself & others to BREAK FREE, to Be Our Truest, Most Authentic Self!

Join me! Together, we can be who we CHOOSE to be. Who we’re MEANT to be:

Happy & Healthy ♾️ Creating a life we LOVE ♾️ Full of Hope, Passion, & Purpose

© Marisa Victus

👭 Do you want to enlist the help of a Fellow Creative, to help you experience your own Creative Renaissance?

Our CHAT can be a safe place to tell safe people what you’d like to accomplish, so we can all support & cheer you on.

Let’s TRUST in our ability to be at peace.

Together, we can support each other on our healing journeys, to be the Creatives we are meant to be.

Together, we can BREAK FREE.

We can find solutions, together! Please join us in my

This is a special group for Writers, Artists, & Creatives like us, to have deep conversations about the Books that we choose, so we can implement what we learn, and unearth our truest, most Authentic Selves.

It’s the perfect way to

Share Our Recipes for Happiness:

🔮 Have fun together;

🔮 Share our triumphs;

🔮 Vent from time to time — we’re human after all!

🔮 Take a lighthearted approach to private journaling & Artist’s Dates; and,

🔮 Grow the CREATIVE GENIUS inside all of us! 💐🌺🌷🌸🌹🌻🌼

Share Our Work (allow our True Self to be Seen):

🚀 With Notes Boost Challenges (NBC), we can share our favorite Notes of the week.

🚀 And, when we’d like, we can share our Works In Progress (WIP) and/or Final Posts, Music, & Art…whatever we’re proud of!

🚀 So we can Like, Comment, and/or Restack each others’ work to…

Share Our Joy (experience Connection):

🙌 This is how we can come together, to grow through our own individual efforts, and feel the support of a kind & supportive Creative Community, too.

🤗 If that sounds good to you, then join us & say hello!

Join Marisa Victus’s subscriber chat

Subscribe if you want to see where this Creative Journey can take us!

When you SUBSCRIBE TO MY SUBSTACK, you’ll gain access to these 2 resources:

(1) Every week, you’ll get my free Non-Fiction Newsletter on Substack, entitled Marisa VICTUS: Science of Synergy & Self; and,

(2) You’ll be able to entrain your brain — the quick & easy way — with my Mindset & Meditation (M&M) practice.

Plus, if you’d like to see me succeed (or flop 😂) as I practice in public,

(3) SUBSCRIBE to my free YouTube Channel!

Which Creative Practice did YOU choose? Let’s EXPERIMENT, Together!

In my STUDY, SAVOR, & SUPPORT Each Other CHAT☕️🍵, we’re doing a deep-dive into our Book Club selection! This week is Chapter 7 of BECOMING AN ARTIST: Reinventing Yourself Through Mindful Creativity by Dr. Ellen J. Langer.

In Chapter 7: The Myth of Talent, psychologists report that talent is “normally distributed throughout the population,” but EL says most of us think we fall in the “we don’t have it” bucket.

Problem is:

We often make false assumptions about the “Talented” people we admire.

Even world-famous artists like Picasso wouldn’t have had the confidence we assume he would’ve had.

I doubt he’d believe, “I’m the best,” without ever wavering or doubting himself. Instead, I bet he’d proclaim a willingness to try, to explore and see what happens.

Perhaps that’s the main difference between the Picasso he was able to become and us. And maybe, just maybe, we could become prolific Artists if we adopted the same exploratory Mindset, one that relies on curiosity instead of some mystical innate “Talent” that doesn’t actually exist.

Most times, “talent” is simply a set of skills that we can learn.

Indeed, as EL so aptly states, “The distance between those who do and those who don’t is not as great as it feels to those who want to but are afraid to.”

Sadly, those who are afraid to are often Mindlessly afraid.

When we’re truly mindful, we’d see the truth:

THE MINDFUL TRUTH #1: The “Talent” We Imagine Would Actually Be Boring

If the Talented were gifted beyond reproach, the way that we imagine them to be, to the point that they could “do no wrong,” where would the fun be in that?

If every sportsman knew with 100% certainty that s/he’d get a slam dunk or a hole in one, wouldn’t s/he get bored?

Where would the thrill be, if nothing could change, no matter the difference that might present itself, in various terrains or opponents on the field?

THE MINDFUL TRUTH #2: We actually want some level of uncertainty.

To see what each surprise evokes in us. To challenge our skills. To spur our creativity.

We want to explore the edge of our skills and be surprised when we make progress, perhaps more than we’d ever hoped to achieve.

THE MINDFUL TRUTH #3: Flow’s the Reward Along the Way

Even when we haven’t reached the finish line, there’s a reward along the way: that blissful state of Flow, when we become so engrossed in what we’re doing that we lose all sense of “Self.”

Our ego doesn’t get in the way anymore. We get to be FREE.

That, alone, is reason enough to get started, get going, and see where the path leads.

Now, take a Mindful Minute, to ask yourself:

⭐️ Last week, I asked, “Do YOU want to LET GO of Social Comparison?” and

⭐️ I invited you to JOIN ME IN AN EXPERIMENT:

To choose a creative activity to pursue alongside me.

Not necessarily the same creative practice as I’m choosing.

But, the creative practice that YOU choose.

One that would allow us to practice the empowering kind of Social Comparison that would allow us to not only THINK that Talent’s just a set of skills that can be developed, but to practice DOING it, Mindfully.

Let’s make the Mindful choice:

(1) to look at others for suggestions only — to show us that possibility and opportunity exists;

(2) to see Talent as a set of skills we can cultivate; and,

(3) to experiment with what it’s like to let go of perfectionism, drop the mask, release the urge to perform, and feel what it’s like to enjoy the creative process as it unfolds, no matter how imperfect our “Messy Middle” might be.

As I said before, I look forward to hearing which creative practice you choose.

But, before you do, I invited you to consider lowering the stakes.

So we don’t trigger our Sympathetic Nervous System to launch into a fight-flight-freeze-fawn-or-flop response.

Instead, we want to encourage our Parasympathetic Nervous System to stay engaged. Not to the point that we’re in “rest-or-digest,” but to the point that we’re relaxed enough to PLAY.

If we choose a creative endeavor that is too closely tied to our sense of identity, it will be that much harder for us to NOT engage in the undermining type of social comparison that we’re trying to avoid, because the stakes will be too high.

Instead, let’s choose a creative activity where if we succeed or fail, it will not trigger any type of over-identification with the Self.

⭐️ I’m excited to hear, which creative practice did you choose?

Personally, I choose MUSIC.

Why am I choosing this?

Because I LOVE music. I love to sing. I love to play piano. I love to dance or do martial arts, whatever, while listening to any tune.

But, I don’t have any illusions that I’m going to be turning into some type of Pop Superstar if I perform music, release it, or even post it for sale on a music distribution platform.

In other words, music is not insanely intertwined with my sense of Self. It is a big part of who I am, but not the entirety of who I am as a person. I love it and I am passionate about it, but it still allows me some wiggle room to stumble, fall, and even fail, and I will still survive with a strong sense of Self intact.

It will allow me to experiment and PLAY, and that’s the Mindset I encourage you to have when we start our experiments next week!

To make it extra fun, I’m going to couple it with something BIG that I’ve been planning for a while now…

So STAY TUNED!

🧠🎨The F.E.A.R.-Busting Creative in Me🎨🧠

🧠🎨honors & respects the F.E.A.R.-Busting Creative in You,🎨🧠

Marisa

Subscribe now

READ THE SYNOPSIS

If you enjoy reading it, please consider leaving me a rating & review on Amazon & Goodreads! It’s the the easiest way to support Indie Authors like me.

Your kind contribution can be the greatly-appreciated rocket fuel that inspires me to keep living according to My Motto: Vita est pro victus! which means “Life is for Living — Truly Living!” Not as some shell of who we should be. But as our truest, most Authentic Self.

That’s MY MISSION in life: to encourage myself & others to BREAK FREE, to Be Our Truest, Most Authentic Self!

Join me! Together, we can be who we CHOOSE to be. Who we’re MEANT to be:

Happy & Healthy ♾️ Creating a life we LOVE ♾️ Full of Hope, Passion, & Purpose

© Marisa Victus

👭 Do you want to enlist the help of a Fellow Creative, to help you experience your own Creative Renaissance?

Our CHAT can be a safe place to tell safe people what you’d like to accomplish, so we can all support & cheer you on.

Let’s TRUST in our ability to be at peace.

Together, we can support each other on our healing journeys, to be the Creatives we are meant to be.

Together, we can BREAK FREE.

We can find solutions, together! Please join us in my

This is a special group for Writers, Artists, & Creatives like us, to have deep conversations about the Books that we choose, so we can implement what we learn, and unearth our truest, most Authentic Selves.

It’s the perfect way to

Share Our Recipes for Happiness:

🔮 Have fun together;

🔮 Share our triumphs;

🔮 Vent from time to time — we’re human after all!

🔮 Take a lighthearted approach to private journaling & Artist’s Dates; and,

🔮 Grow the CREATIVE GENIUS inside all of us! 💐🌺🌷🌸🌹🌻🌼

Share Our Work (allow our True Self to be Seen):

🚀 With Notes Boost Challenges (NBC), we can share our favorite Notes of the week.

🚀 And, when we’d like, we can share our Works In Progress (WIP) and/or Final Posts, Music, & Art…whatever we’re proud of!

🚀 So we can Like, Comment, and/or Restack each others’ work to…

Share Our Joy (experience Connection):

🙌 This is how we can come together, to grow through our own individual efforts, and feel the support of a kind & supportive Creative Community, too.

🤗 If that sounds good to you, then join us & say hello!

Join Marisa Victus’s subscriber chat

Subscribe if you want to see where this Creative Journey can take us!

When you SUBSCRIBE TO MY SUBSTACK, you’ll gain access to these 2 resources:

(1) Every week, you’ll get my free Non-Fiction Newsletter on Substack, entitled Marisa VICTUS: Science of Synergy & Self; and,

(2) You’ll be able to entrain your brain — the quick & easy way — with my Mindset & Meditation (M&M) practice.

Plus, if you’d like to see me succeed (or flop 😂) as I practice in public,

(3) SUBSCRIBE to my free YouTube Channel!

Let’s EXPERIMENT, Together

In my STUDY, SAVOR, & SUPPORT Each Other CHAT☕️🍵, we’re doing a deep-dive into our Book Club selection! This week is Chapter 6 of BECOMING AN ARTIST: Reinventing Yourself Through Mindful Creativity by Dr. Ellen J. Langer.

In Chapter 6: The Mindlessness of Social Comparison, EL says psychologists have studied how our tendency to engage in social comparison (SC) affects us, and found that SCs can either

1. inspire us to take action, or
2. demoralize and therefore inhibit us from acting.

In particular, they found that “when the accomplishments of others seem attainable, they will inspire us; when they seem unattainable, they may be undermining.”

This may sound like a downer, but it’s not. Because…

We are In Control

As long as we do not allow our Monkey Minds to trick us into believing its F.E.A.R.s (False Evidence Appearing Real), we get to decide whether the accomplishments of others are attainable or not.

We simply have to pay mindful attention to our THINKING, especially “how we talk to ourselves about [other people’s] behavior.”

We Control Our Filter

Personally, I find it’s easier to engage in SC when we view those we admire from their past: that’s where we can see how they’ve struggled and overcome many of the same or similar obstacles and challenges we might be facing.

It can help to make a far-away goal feel attainable, after all.

And, slowly but surely, it can shift our Mindset. Until our default becomes the empowering type of SC, not the undermining kind.

Where’s Your Mindset Now?

One of the best ways to measure where our Mindset falls on the spectrum between undermining and empowering is to ask ourselves the following question:

Are “successful people” successful because they’re naturally talented, or are they successful because they put in the effort?

I consider this one of the ultimate “Half-Glass Full vs. Half-Glass Empty” questions in life.

Intellectually, I believe the “correct” answer is that it’s the effort that ultimately determines whether someone will be successful or not.

Emotionally, I feel that’s the “correct” answer most of the time. When I’m feeling great. When I’m positive. When I feel self-confident and full of personal power.

But, I must admit that, when my emotions are down, or I’m off in some other way — like I’m super tired or hangry — my Inner Critic starts screaming like a banshee and its F.E.A.R. says that their success is attributable to talent.

What if our Highest Self has the BEST Answer?

My Highest Self balances the two, so that it’s not only (1) or only (2), but BOTH:

1. Talent, alone, cannot guarantee success; and,
2. Through effort, one can cultivate talent.

But, how does one do that?

The VICTUS Method: We can THINK-DO-&-BE our way to our Highest Self!

I strongly believe that, to transform ourselves to become who we CHOOSE to be, to reach who we are MEANT to be, we need to THINK-DO-&-BE our way to our Highest Self.

Like a Venn Diagram, I imagine three circles intersecting in the middle, and remind myself — often — that I need all three to effect long-lasting change.

And repetition matters.

So much so, I’d go so far as to say that…

The Routine of Repetition is The Secret to Our Success

And it’s also the secret behind our failure.

By that I mean, whatever Repetition Routine we happen to have at any given time in our life, we will either be going in the direction of succeeding or failing, of empowering ourselves or undermining ourselves.

PROBLEM IS: Our Repetition Routine is often not “chosen,” but comes to be in an absent-minded, mindless way, with little to no thought behind it.

Often because “that’s just the way it’s done,” according to some unwritten “Roles Rulebook” that society tells us to follow, explicitly or implicitly.

Most of us have a Repetition Routine where we engage in Non-Stop Social Comparison.

Let’s break it down, shall we?

THINK:

Looking back, I know from where my Inner Critic’s F.E.A.R. originates: it’s from my nascent Self, who first learned to compare during childhood.

Don’t we all?

It happens whether we want it to or not.

As we go through our educational system, grades are doled out in a curve, and there are only so many As and Bs.

DO:

So, of course, we compare, to position ourselves as best we can, to get the best grades we can, to get the best jobs we can, to get the best homes/cars/things as we can.

BE:

Which brings us back to the beginning: the research. As we crane our necks to see what our Dear Neighbors are doing, we feel the same way the research participants felt…This is our sense of BEING:

“If we attribute their success to their efforts, we are more likely to think that if we put in the effort we can achieve the result. If we attribute their success to talent we are lacking, we become demoralized.”

⭐️ WHAT IF…there’s a BETTER WAY of BEING?

EL suggests, “we can give up making these mindless evaluations which only make it more difficult to begin any new creative endeavor.”

Wow.

Do you think that’s possible?

Is it possible to completely GIVE UP the habit of Social Comparison?

Don’t worry if you don’t think that it is.

Even EL says, “Is there research evidence that we can be completely non-evaluative in this way? I don’t know of any. Perhaps Buddha and other spiritual leaders achieved such a state, but most of us have not.”

🤣

Even so, I find the idea of relinquishing this urge to draw social comparisons freeing.

If we cannot get rid of SC entirely, might we at least loosen our grip on this tendency, and be more at peace as a result?

I believe we can.

Because, time and time again, I’ve been able to negate my F.E.A.R.s, through a combination of identifying and changing my hidden Limiting Beliefs (THINK), solidifying better, more Empowering Beliefs through action (DO), and doing it repeatedly until they’re my default, hard-wired beliefs (BE).

Let’s Reframe Social Comparison & Empower Ourselves toward Success!

It’s not that we need to shut our eyes to reality.

We shouldn’t stick our heads in the sand.

Instead, let’s look to others for suggestions only — to show us that possibility and opportunity exists — and make sure that what they do can and will work for us as individuals, in a context-specific way that applies uniquely to us.

It’s worked for me. Might it work for you, too?

For example, in the past, I described how the “SELL, SELL, SELL” Model of Marketing didn’t align with me, so I exposed myself to new ideas, broadened my perspective to see that Other Ways of BEING a “Marketer” existed, and discovered a new way to do Marketing that was soul-centered & connection-centric.

But that knowledge, alone, was not enough.

I had to go beyond that thinking to doing, to actually experience that kind of soul-centered & connection-centric Marketing.

To my amazement, it was such a wonderful experience that I feel ready & willing to do it again!

Now, I’m at the point in my journey where I just need to repeat it, again and again, to BE the soul-centered, connection-centric “Marketer” I now know & trust I can be.

And, how blissful it is, to do Marketing in this aligned way.

It’s allowed me to realize how much peace can be gained when I’m mindfully aware of the costs of Social Comparison, let go of my need to control, and look for “possibility and opportunity” instead.

My curiosity’s peaked.

My imagination’s revved up.

I’m wondering what other Creative Practices I could apply this Mindful awareness to.

I’m ready to do my own series of experiments. Aren’t you?

It sounds like a grand adventure to try, and it’s the perfect opportunity to have some FUN!

Why not? Experiencing more peace sounds like a wonderfully promising reward to me.

Now, take a Mindful Minute, to ask yourself:

⭐️ Do YOU want to LET GOof Social Comparison, too?

⭐️ Then here’s my invitation to you: JOIN ME IN AN EXPERIMENT!

Choose a creative activity to pursue.

One that will allow you to practice the empowering kind of SC we all hope to do.

I look forward to hearing what YOU choose.

⭐️ But, before you do, consider lowering the stakes.

You might be like, “Huh?”

I know, I know. You might be a Type A person like me, too.

But, don’t get me wrong. There’s a reason why I’m suggesting we lower the stakes:

It’s because we don’t want to trigger our Sympathetic Nervous System to launch into a fight-flight-freeze-fawn-or-flop response.

Instead, we want to encourage our Parasympathetic Nervous System to stay engaged. Not to the point that we’re in “rest-or-digest,” but to the point that we’re relaxed enough to PLAY.

If we choose a creative endeavor that is too closely tied to our sense of identity, it will be that much harder for us to NOT engage in the undermining type of social comparison that we’re trying to avoid, because the stakes will be too high.

Instead, try to choose a creative activity where if we succeed or fail, it will not trigger any type of over-identification with the Self.

I can’t wait to hear what you choose…and look forward to sharing my choice next week!

To make it extra fun, I’m going to couple it with something BIG that I’ve been planning for a while now…

So STAY TUNED!

And, in the meantime, let your imagination wonder…

⭐️ What Creative Practice could YOU try, to THINK-DO-&-BE your way to becoming who you are MEANT to be?

⭐️ Can you imagine, how amazing it will feel, to step into your Higher Self & PLAY your way to Success?

🧠🎨The VICTUS Player in Me🎨🧠

🧠🎨honors & respects the VICTUS Player in Each of You,🎨🧠

Marisa

READ THE SYNOPSIS

If you enjoy reading it, please consider leaving me a rating & review on Amazon & Goodreads! It’s the the easiest way to support Indie Authors like me.

Your kind contribution can be the greatly-appreciated rocket fuel that inspires me to keep living according to My Motto: Vita est pro victus! which means “Life is for Living — Truly Living!” Not as some shell of who we should be. But as our truest, most Authentic Self.

That’s MY MISSION in life: to encourage myself & others to BREAK FREE, to Be Our Truest, Most Authentic Self!

Join me! Together, we can be who we CHOOSE to be. Who we’re MEANT to be:

Happy & Healthy ♾️ Creating a life we LOVE ♾️ Full of Hope, Passion, & Purpose

© Marisa Victus

👭 Do you want to enlist the help of a Fellow Creative, to help you experience your own Creative Renaissance?

Our CHAT can be a safe place to tell safe people what you’d like to accomplish, so we can all support & cheer you on.

Let’s TRUST in our ability to be at peace.

Together, we can support each other on our healing journeys, to be the Creatives we are meant to be.

Together, we can BREAK FREE.

We can find solutions, together! Please join us in my

This is a special group for Writers, Artists, & Creatives like us, to have deep conversations about the Books that we choose, so we can implement what we learn, and unearth our truest, most Authentic Selves.

It’s the perfect way to

Share Our Recipes for Happiness:

🔮 Have fun together;

🔮 Share our triumphs;

🔮 Vent from time to time — we’re human after all!

🔮 Take a lighthearted approach to private journaling & Artist’s Dates; and,

🔮 Grow the CREATIVE GENIUS inside all of us! 💐🌺🌷🌸🌹🌻🌼

Share Our Work (allow our True Self to be Seen):

🚀 With Notes Boost Challenges (NBC), we can share our favorite Notes of the week.

🚀 And, when we’d like, we can share our Works In Progress (WIP) and/or Final Posts, Music, & Art…whatever we’re proud of!

🚀 So we can Like, Comment, and/or Restack each others’ work to…

Share Our Joy (experience Connection):

🙌 This is how we can come together, to grow through our own individual efforts, and feel the support of a kind & supportive Creative Community, too.

🤗 If that sounds good to you, then join us & say hello!

Join Marisa Victus’s subscriber chat

Subscribe if you want to see where this Creative Journey can take us!

When you SUBSCRIBE TO MY SUBSTACK, you’ll gain access to these 2 resources:

(1) Every week, you’ll get my free Non-Fiction Newsletter on Substack, entitled Marisa VICTUS: Science of Synergy & Self; and,

(2) You’ll be able to entrain your brain — the quick & easy way — with my Mindset & Meditation (M&M) practice.

Plus, if you’d like to see me succeed (or flop 😂) as I practice in public,

(3) SUBSCRIBE to my free YouTube Channel!

May you have happiness, joy, & peace today

Happy Mother’s Day!

To all of the wonderful Mothers out there, I hope you’re having a beautifully relaxing and enjoyable day with your loved ones!

I’m having a fantastic time celebrating with my family & two young kids, and I wanted to wish the same for you.

I also wanted to take this time to address any of you who may not be celebrating today. Perhaps your mother’s passed, or maybe your mother didn’t mother you the way that you deserved, so today is especially hard for you.

Whatever your circumstances might be, if you are feeling down today, please know that I am thinking of you.

And sending you this gentle reminder that mothers are more than the women who’ve given birth to us. Mothers are everywhere.

Your friends may be the ones who mother you, with their caring and uplifting spirit. Or, it may be a cousin, an aunt, or an older woman in your life. Indeed, the beautifully nurturing and supportive spirit of a “Mother” can be expressed by anyone, even by the men in our lives. No matter who it is, I hope you can be in their presence and feel their nurturing spirit embracing you today.

I strongly believe that, while mothers are amazing, anyone can be the mother we deserve. Especially us, when we mother ourselves.

I wish you love today and, to that end, I share the following with you. I hope it brings you peace.

From my conversation with Priya, linked below:

⭐️Question⭐️

The epigraph, “Family is defined by choice, not by birth or blood. Family is worth fighting for,” sits at the very front of the book like a thesis. Did that line come to you early, or did you find it only after the story had already told you what it was about?

When I started writing THE OBSIDIAN CHRONICLES, I knew I wanted to write a science fiction story that was full of supernatural powers that defy time but, more than that, I wanted it to be a story about what remains true no matter how much time passes: the tremendous power of love to shape or break us.

I was inspired to write this epigraph because of the way we come to define our sense of Self: based on the private relationship we develop with ourselves, and the relationships that we forge in community with others, whether they are part of our family or not.

If we’re lucky, we’re raised with parents and maybe siblings and extended relatives who give us a sense of belonging, acceptance, and understanding. They may be the mirror that allows us to see our true, Authentic Self, and their love can power us forward, to give us the strength to grow into who we are meant to be. They have the capacity to teach us how to accept, respect, love, and cherish ourselves in the way that we all deserve.

Some people, like my main character, Jai, are lucky enough to have had that experience with their birth family, but Jai suffers tremendously in other ways. And not everyone enjoys a close relationship with their birth family at all. We see that in the lives that the other characters experience. They feel a sense of disconnection from themselves and others. They don’t feel safe or securely attached to other people because that was not what was modeled to them in their own upbringing. Or, they were and are deeply loved by their family and friends, but trauma scarred them.

Ultimately, I hope readers can see some part of themselves reflected in these characters, because all of us can feel incomplete or somehow broken. I know I am not immune and, sadly, I think that is one of the biggest challenges that we face in our world right now: a sense of disconnection from ourselves and from each other. We’re urged to wear a mask and perform perfectly. We’re expected to be infallible when no one is. It gives us this haunting sense of discomfort. Like no matter how hard we try, we won’t be “good enough.” That’s a problem when we all need and deserve to feel like we’re truly seen, accepted, and loved for who we are. Without that, we risk turning our pain inward or, even worse, outward.

THE OBSIDIAN CHRONICLES explores the potential choices we might make, and invites us to see that there’s still hope:

It can feel like it’s “just me,” but it never is. We are not alone in our suffering. We don’t have to struggle all on our own.

And we’re not limited to the family in which we were born. We can find the right people and, when we do, we can strengthen our resolve, find the courage we need to fight, and trust in others because they’ve given us the love we need to not only survive, but thrive.

When the world’s breaking and everything feels hopeless, I try to remind myself that we can be the light to save each other. Together, we can co-create the peace our world needs.

Because our humanity is what makes us a family. And that family is worth fighting for.

So, here’s to having a very happy Mother’s Day!

From the Mother in me to the Mother in each of you,

Marisa

If you’d like to read the entire conversation, here’s Priya’s amazing interview, full of her fun & insightful questions for me, and Priya’s beautiful reflection about my OBSIDIAN series.

🧠🎨The Mother in Me🎨🧠

🧠🎨honors & respects the Mother in each of You,🎨🧠

Marisa

READ THE SYNOPSIS

If you enjoy reading it, please consider leaving me a rating & review on Amazon & Goodreads! It’s the the easiest way to support Indie Authors like me.

Your kind contribution can be the greatly-appreciated rocket fuel that inspires me to keep living according to My Motto: Vita est pro victus! which means “Life is for Living — Truly Living!” Not as some shell of who we should be. But as our truest, most Authentic Self.

That’s MY MISSION in life: to encourage myself & others to BREAK FREE, to Be Our Truest, Most Authentic Self!

Join me! Together, we can be who we CHOOSE to be. Who we’re MEANT to be:

Happy & Healthy ♾️ Creating a life we LOVE ♾️ Full of Hope, Passion, & Purpose

© Marisa Victus

👭 Do you want to enlist the help of a Fellow Creative, to help you experience your own Creative Renaissance?

Our CHAT can be a safe place to tell safe people what you’d like to accomplish, so we can all support & cheer you on.

Let’s TRUST in our ability to be at peace.

Together, we can support each other on our healing journeys, to be the Creatives we are meant to be.

Together, we can BREAK FREE.

We can find solutions, together! Please join us in my

This is a special group for Writers, Artists, & Creatives like us, to have deep conversations about the Books that we choose, so we can implement what we learn, and unearth our truest, most Authentic Selves.

It’s the perfect way to

Share Our Recipes for Happiness:

🔮 Have fun together;

🔮 Share our triumphs;

🔮 Vent from time to time — we’re human after all!

🔮 Take a lighthearted approach to private journaling & Artist’s Dates; and,

🔮 Grow the CREATIVE GENIUS inside all of us! 💐🌺🌷🌸🌹🌻🌼

Share Our Work (allow our True Self to be Seen):

🚀 With Notes Boost Challenges (NBC), we can share our favorite Notes of the week.

🚀 And, when we’d like, we can share our Works In Progress (WIP) and/or Final Posts, Music, & Art…whatever we’re proud of!

🚀 So we can Like, Comment, and/or Restack each others’ work to…

Share Our Joy (experience Connection):

🙌 This is how we can come together, to grow through our own individual efforts, and feel the support of a kind & supportive Creative Community, too.

🤗 If that sounds good to you, then join us & say hello!

Join Marisa Victus’s subscriber chat

Subscribe if you want to see where this Creative Journey can take us!

When you SUBSCRIBE TO MY SUBSTACK, you’ll gain access to these 2 resources:

(1) Every week, you’ll get my free Non-Fiction Newsletter on Substack, entitled Marisa VICTUS: Science of Synergy & Self; and,

(2) You’ll be able to entrain your brain — the quick & easy way — with my Mindset & Meditation (M&M) practice.

Plus, if you’d like to see me succeed (or flop 😂) as I practice in public,

(3) SUBSCRIBE to my free YouTube Channel!