Are you numb? Break Free! OWN Your Castle: Enjoy a Life ILLUMINATED by Emotional Wisdom

🤔 What if there’s more to life than a hum-drum boring existence?

In our STUDY, SAVOR, & SUPPORT Each Other CHAT☕️🍵, we’re doing a deep-dive into our Book Club selection! This week is Chapter 7 of REWIRED: The Breakthrough Tapping Method to Stop Overthinking, Calm Your Body, and Finally Feel at Ease by Nick, Jessica, & Alex Ortner.

In Chapter 7, we learn what to do 🤔 When We Feel Numb. When we fall into our regular routines and do what is expected of us, but strangely, we feel nothing.

Like we are merely passengers in our lives.

We go through the motions, but we lack passion, excitement, or a true sense of purpose.

The Ortners call this a special type of reactive loop that they’ve dubbed “The Shutdown Loop.”

Unlike other potential reactions we might take, the shutdown loop is our nervous system’s most protective measure. To keep us safe, our Sympathetic Nervous System “pulls the emergency brake on all feeling to prevent overwhelm.”

My Mindful Reflection

Though I had never referred to this predicament as a “Shutdown Loop,” I am certainly familiar with this concept.

For me, years of repeatedly wearing the mask that I’ve been trained to wear, and have been praised for wearing as an Attorney, caused me to set aside the Authentic Creative in me. I stopped my creative writing. Didn’t make art. And slowly felt my Highest Self slip away until I could no longer recognize who I was anymore.

So of course joy became a stranger instead of my best friend.

Inspiration walked out the door, knowing that it would not become my regular welcomed guest.

And slowly but surely depression and anxiety became my far-from Bosom Buddies. They were more like squatters, refusing to leave, but eating all of my food, taking away all of my energy, not cleaning up after themselves, and making me just goddamn miserable.

Problem was…

I forgot that I was the Owner of my own Kingdom.

I forgot that I held the keys to my Palace. I forgot that I had the control to kick them out. To rearrange the furniture. To padlock the front door using the key that only I had.

That forgetting — that I had the power to change my own life — persisted for years.

I kept wearing that mask and hiding my Authentic Self and it became so painful that for a long time I denied that it was happening.

It wasn’t hard to deny because being an Attorney takes a lot of attention, effort, care, devotion, and passion.

It’s no surprise then, that the Ortners describe this Shutdown Loop this way:

“Maybe you’ve gotten so good at the performance that sometimes you fool even yourself. For a moment, you almost believe [it when you tell others] ‘I’m fine.’ Until you’re alone again, and the emptiness returns, reliable as gravity.”

Yes.

In those quiet moments when I came home, I knew that those squatters were hiding around somewhere. I knew they were a problem. I knew I didn’t want them around.

But I also felt powerless because I forgot my own power.

Looking back, I can now see that that sense of Powerlessness caused me to go numb. As if my nervous system knew that it would be too painful to allow myself to fully feel the regret & remorse one feels when one becomes aware of the self-abandonment that is actually occurring.

Until I’d had enough.

When I published my creative writing (my sci fi series — THE OBSIDIAN CHRONICLES — linked below), I ejected my squatters and I clawed my way to freedom, restoring my Owner status, claiming the keys to my house, remodeled everything, did a ton of Creative Work to build my own Creative Castle, and installed an impenetrable mindset, to champion my new mantra — “Authenticity Over Performance” — like a moat to prevent any naysayers from busting their way back in.

But you know what’s so sad?

Millions of people never become their own Knight in Shining Armor.

Why?

The disconnection embodied in this Reactive Loop has become so normalized that we accept it.

We even have well-recognized nicknames for it, calling it the common “Rat Race” or referring to it as if it’s acceptable for us to be “Running on the Hamster Wheel.”

At least these descriptions express a tinge of anger at our predicament.

Or, worst of all, we refer to it in its completely emotionless form: “Adulting.”

As if we all just have to bear it. As if we all just have to stay stuck in our passionless, joyless suffering. Like we’re emotionless zombies, we simply sigh and tell ourselves (and sometimes others), “That’s just the way life is.”

No!

We have more power than realize.

We’re just trapped in “The Prison of Safety”

Our nervous systems have erected this wall, presumably to keep us safe from having to feel all of these so-called “negative” emotions because we’re afraid it will be too painful to fully experience them.

But, the problem is that the wall blocks out everything — even the positive emotions in our life:

This prison:

• Erases our Inner Compass.

• Makes true connection impossible.

• Silences our intuition.

As the Ortners sum up quite succinctly, this prison may be protecting you from the risk of feeling, but “Numbness isn’t protecting you from life — it’s preventing you from living.”

The Solution:

Tapping to turn on the Slow & Steady Light Switch, from Numbness to a Life ILLUMINATED by Emotional Wisdom

To live our life well, as the full expression of who we truly are, we need to not only see, but acknowledge and experience the “full, colorful, and wide spectrum of emotion.”

EFT’s power lies in doing precisely that. We speak what we feel out loud, and acknowledge those feelings wholeheartedly, without pushing them away. And, as we tap on the meridian points, the piezoelectric signals we generate with our fingers, allows our bodies to accept that it’s not only ok to feel whatever we’re feeling, but it’s physiologically safe to feel those feelings.

Without our being triggered, we realize that these feelings cannot harm us or threaten our safety, contrary to what are brains and bodies believed at the beginning when it decided to numb us out.

That’s when the magic happens:

“The Law of Emergence”

“When suppressed emotions emerge, it’s not a setback; it’s progress.”

It’s like we’re disassembling the walls in our “Prison of Safety” and, as we break down those walls brick by brick, we can see, feel, and finally process the emotions that’ve kept us trapped.

Tapping on each emotion allows our brains and bodies to adapt to a new normal: to soften.

Brick by brick, we allow ourselves to let go. To let the bricks fall out of our hands.

Over time, our bodies and brains will realize a “Prison of Safety” doesn’t have to be erected to begin with. And we’ll know we no longer have to be prisoners who are too afraid to feel.

When we become our own Knight in Shining Armor, we gain the greatest wealth possible: Self-Worth.

Because we recognize we hold the power to illuminate our lives with Emotional Wisdom.

In fact, it’s our emotions that are the magic bricks to build our Castle.

A castle where we can live — TRULY live! — and champion our truest, most Authentic Self, no matter what’s happening externally in our life.

Now, Take a Mindful Moment, to ask yourself:

⭐️ When people ask you how you are, how often do you catch yourself feeling numb & thinking or saying these phrases:

• “I’m fine.”

• “Same old, same old.”

• “Whatever.”

• “I don’t care.”

• “It is what it is.”

• “Tired.”

• “OK.”

⭐️ How often do you fall into your regular routine and do what is expected of you, but strangely, feel nothing?

⭐️ How many days a week do you feel numb?

🤔 Whenever I feel “numb,” I try to manage it by looking forward to what excites me instead. And I try to do something creative that enlivens me everyday…in the morning, if possible, so I see me prioritizing myself in some way before I tackle work or other tasks. Even if it’s just for a few minutes, doing something creative makes a difference and improves my mindset.

⭐️ What about you?

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Plus, the

2nd Book of The Obsidian Chronicles

(OBSIDIAN: War of Shadows)

is now on Sale for $2.99,

or read it for FREE with your Kindle Unlimited Membership!

Get BOOK 2 (OBSIDIAN: War of Shadows) here!

READ THE SYNOPSIS

STAY TUNED!

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I strongly believe that we are stronger together. That’s why I’m encouraging us to “do the DO” as a community, in a safe & private space for members-only, where we can embrace Becoming in all of its messy glory. So, let’s BREAK FREE, together!

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• Choose a creative activity to pursue alongside me. Not necessarily the same creative practice as I’m choosing (music). But, the creative practice that YOU choose.

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  • P.S. No worries if you don’t have a Creative Practice yet. I’m planning fun ways to listen-to-learn piano, by going back to basics, so beginners will be right on time!

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