True or False: You Can Motivate Yourself by SOFTENING?

🤔 What if SOFTENING Can Motivate Us?

In our STUDY, SAVOR, & SUPPORT Each Other CHAT☕️🍵, we just did a deep-dive into Trauma, including what we can do when our past won’t stay in the past.

This week, we’re continuing onto Chapter 10 of REWIRED: The Breakthrough Tapping Method to Stop Overthinking, Calm Your Body, and Finally Feel at Ease by Nick, Jessica, & Alex Ortner.

Chapter 10 — 🤔 When You Can’t Find Motivation — Tapping Into Energy & Flow.

Do you believe there’s Power in SOFTENING?

What do you usually do when you don’t feel motivated?

OPTION #1: Are you the type of person who transforms into David Goggins, the former NAVY Seal known for calling himself a piece of shit, to motivate himself to get shit done?

Or,

OPTION #2: Do you take a softer approach, like the Mother we all wish we had: the nurturing presence that doesn’t berate you, but comes close to you instead, to give you a cuddle, listen to your doubts and worries, wipe away your tears, and reinforce what you want to believe about yourself — that you just can’t do something yet — and that, deep down, you are worthy, you are cherished, you are capable, and you can do anything you set your mind to?

Take a Mindful Moment to Ask Yourself to Get REAL.

Be HONEST.

⭐️ Which Motivator do you tend to call when the going gets rough, when you fail to meet expectations — whether they’re others’ expectations or your own?

⭐️ When you look at your list of To Do’s and you can’t seem to find the motivation to do what you need to do…

🤔 Does your Inner Critic bomb you like David Goggins, all crazy-eyed & spewing hateful epithets?

Or,

🤔 Does your Inner Child call for your Inner Mother (the Nurturing Force inside all of us) — if you’d only be willing to get quiet, go inward, and listen to the intuitive feelings that are whispering in your heart?

We all know the latter is what the “RIGHT” Answer is supposed to be.

Problem is, we suffer from a problem that the Ortners call…

My MINDFUL Reflection:

My Personal Pattern

I am a highly productive person.

I’m NOT saying this to brag.

I’m saying this because I’ve worked DAMNED hard to make myself be this way.

And I work my ass off everyday to MAKE myself continue being this way.

But, before you click out of this Post because I seem too annoying to keep reading, DON’T!

The whole reason why I’m saying all this is:

In every book I choose for the BOOK CLUB in my STUDY, SAVOR, & SUPPORT Each Other CHAT☕️🍵 , there’s always a chapter that makes me say to myself, “YES! This is The One — the one chapter that made buying this book worth it! “

Last week we did Ch. 8 — all about how to heal Past Trauma — especially when past trauma won’t stay in the past.

I used to think THAT Ch. 8 was The One chapter for me.

Well, erase that!

THIS Chapter 10 is THE Chapter! This is “The One”!

I find this quite amusing.

Because, judging from the Title — When You Can’t Find Motivation — I thought “Psh! I don’t need this Chapter!” because I’m so motivated to do a LOT to be productive…All. The. Time!

You know why I was so very wrong?!

The more I reflected upon Chapter 10, the more I came to the realization that, for most of my life, I was in a chronic state of stress.

Because my motivation to be so productive comes from PAIN. From SUFFERING. From the STRESS of wanting to do whatever I can to avoid current or future pain & suffering.

I don’t blame myself for this. It’s understandable because I experienced deep pain & suffering for years…to the point, I’ve written about how I fractured my sense of Self.

And, sadly, that is the level of emotional, mental, and physical (frequent migraines) pain & suffering that continually motivates me to be so productive. To avoid repeating that. To save myself in the ways I know how, with Positive Self-Talk to rewire my predominantly Left-hemisphere-loving brain, that’s fond of using the logic and language I’m used to leaning on as an Attorney, with practices like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Journaling.

But, ever since I started to build upon my practice as a lifelong Meditator & fitness fan, by adding Yoga and breath-work to my weekly repertoire, I’ve come to realize how powerful somatic practices are because they focus on going inward, bypassing words to sense the body instead, and calm the nervous system that way.

Then, we did our deep-dive into works like Martha Beck’s Book, BEYOND ANXIETY: Curiosity, Creativity, and Finding Your Life’s Purpose by Martha Beck, and we learned how leaning into the Right-hemisphere of our brain — where Creativity and Wordlessness reigns supreme — can pull us out of the Anxiety Spirals our brains and bodies are trapped inside.

Bridging these experiences together made me realize that my healing transformation is mainly attributed to regulating my body, because that’s what regulates the nervous system most.

And, the more I’ve focused on somatic and creative practices first, the less I struggle to apply CBT second.

When my body’s calm, my Inner Critic quiets down and eventually leaves. I can apply the logical reasoning that my Left-hemisphere loves, without having to fight my own worst enemy. With words that are based in reality, not F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real).

What’s even more astounding?

Something magical happens to the words you think & speak into existence when you’re thinking & speaking them while you SIMULTANEOUSLY tap on the meridian points with EFT Tapping:

It’s like you get the ABSOLUTE best of BOTH WORLDS:

The logical, rational Left hemisphere of your brain softens and lets go of the Anxiety Spiral, until your amygdala calms down; your breathing steadies; and your Parasympathetic Nervous System takes the reigns without your having to force anything.

And, like a magic spell, the positive words and feelings and images (the CBT) you think and speak into existence…when you are ready & willing to, without any rushing whatsoever…gently entrains your brain with all the Creative Power that the Right hemisphere of your brain can envision in your mind’s eye.

It sounds like something that would take a long time, but it doesn’t. At least, for me, it feels like being reborn, from the wisest, Highest Self — the Inner Mother — that’s inside of you, from the nurturing spirit that knows best what your Inner Child needs to feel heard, understood, and loved.

In essence, EFT allows me to blend the Attorney in me with the Creative in me… like no other somatic practice can.

For me, Chapter 10’s life-changing because it explains why.

I can’t help it — I want to know and understand the science behind why something works, and Chapter 10 explains the science-based, physiological reasons why it’s not healthy (physiologically) to skip doing the somatic practice first.

As the Ortners explain, stress screws up everything:

• The Dopamine Drought: You’re motivated by your brain’s reward system, which runs on dopamine, but stress blocks your dopamine receptors.

• The Prefrontal Shutdown: Under stress, blood flow diverts away from your prefrontal cortex (your brain’s CEO) to your survival centers. You lose access to the part of your brain that knows how to plan, prioritize, and take action.

• The Norepinephrine Paradox: Chronic stress triggers norepinephrine until your receptors become so resistant norepinephrine stops getting you to “go” anymore.

• The Mitochondrial Mutiny: Stress can lower the productivity of your mitochondria, the power plants that produce energy in our cells, by up to 50 percent.

• The GABA Blockade: What should help your brain feel calm and focused — GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid) — is depleted, which makes you feel anxious & antsy.

Now it all makes sense. I was stuck in a chronic state of stress. And, sometimes, no matter how hard you try to reason your way out of it, your body needs help to regulate.

Now, EFT’s The One I go to first, because it beats my Inner Critic, every time.

Where CBT can feel like a battle of wits that can easily fall sway to my Inner Critic’s seemingly logical arguments, EFT knocks CBT down, from first place to second place.

With EFT, I get to rewire my brain and body with SOFTNESS.

Without sparring against my Inner Critic.

And after I’ve anchored my dis-ease with a brief setup statement, I get to use Wordlessness, to simply be with that dis-ease as I tap on the meridian points.

It takes hardly any time at all for me to tap on the acupressure points and, interestingly, I feel the pressure releasing from my body, mostly during the period without words!

For someone who spends a significant portion of my life writing and speaking, that makes the Attorney & Creative Writer in me drop my jaw in astounding disbelief!

Yet, the results are undeniable:

When I finish a round of tapping and take the time to give myself a new numbered rating for my “Subjective Unit of Distress,” I can literally see my SUD numbers decline the more rounds that I do, the more I relax into the negative, and slowly embrace the positive, as I go through the VICTUS Method to THINK•DO•&•BE:

• THINK with EFT;

• RE-THINK with CBT; and,

• The more my DO is EFT,

• The more I realize I’m able to stay — to BE — in a relaxed, peaceful, & well-regulated state, no matter what is going on around me.

Ultimately, I’ve transformed how I motivate myself, from Option #1 to Option #2.

YES, this Chapter’s The One for me, because it’s made it so very clear to me that you can SOFTEN to motivate yourself. Without the struggle. Without the stress.

Now, take Another Mindful Minute to:

⭐️ Pull out your TIMELESS EFT Map, charting your own PAST, PRESENT, and FUTURE:

🤔 Go inward, get curious, and consider

• Do YOU need to be the Drill Sergeant to find Motivation?

• Or, are YOU willing to SOFTEN, to tap your body to Motivation, instead?

🤔 When you give EFT Tapping a try, do you find it easier to THINK & RE-THINK?

🤔 Do you find it’s easier to DO what needs to be done, when you calm your body with somatic EFT first?

🤔 Despite the ups and downs of life, regardless of external circumstances, do you enjoy a more peaceful, longer-lasting baseline, a steadier, healthier state in which to live, a more blissful way to BE?

🤔 Are you ready to practice SOFTENING with me?

⭐️ Instead of trying harder, why don’t we practice trusting our bodies to relax into Motivation, by doing EFT more?

🙌That’s precisely why I started my FREE Private Skool Community: The Mindful VICTUS Playscape to build a supportive & safe community for Creatives to BREAK FREE from our F.E.A.R.s, one by one, to become the MVPs of our Creative Life!

Subscribe now

Plus, for a Limited Time only, the

2nd Book of The Obsidian Chronicles

(OBSIDIAN: War of Shadows)

is now on Sale for $2.99,

or read it for FREE with your Kindle Unlimited Membership!

Get BOOK 2 (OBSIDIAN: War of Shadows) here!

READ THE SYNOPSIS

Are YOU ready to use EFT to step into the new Creative YOU, in a well-regulated way with me?

Then join The Mindful VICTUS Playscape so we can

EFT-our-way-to-Freedom this day & every day!

See you inside!

• Choose a creative activity to pursue alongside me. Not necessarily the same creative practice as I’m choosing (music). But, the creative practice that YOU choose.

• Together, we will experiment and PLAY.

  • P.S. No worries if you don’t have a Creative Practice yet. I’m planning fun ways to listen-to-learn piano, by going back to basics, so beginners will be right on time!

Join Marisa Victus’s subscriber chat

When you SUBSCRIBE TO MY SUBSTACK, you’ll gain access to these 2 resources:

(1) Every week, you’ll get my free Non-Fiction Newsletter on Substack, entitled Marisa VICTUS: Science of Synergy & Self; and,

(2) You’ll be able to entrain your brain — the quick & easy way — with my Mindset & Meditation (M&M) practice.

Plus…

(3) If you’d like to see me succeed (or flop 😂) as I practice in public, SUBSCRIBE to my free YouTube Channel!

(4) JOIN our private, members-only community in The Mindful VICTUS Playscape, where we come together to Share our creative work • Celebrate our “Messy Middle” • Silence our Inner Critic • Elevate our State • Experience safety in our body by regulating our nervous system • Motivate ourselves with creative carrots, not punishing sticks • Entrain our brains to adopt unstoppable self-belief • Practice loving ourselves • Stop taking ourselves so seriously • Lower our stress • ENJOY a Life that’s full of abundance & creativity!